Washing instructions for auric bodies
When your body feels heavy with emotion, remember you can take it off like clothing.
In a vision I see everything as pale denim blue, like all the colors have run by mistake.
I take off my emotional body and I see pockets of fluid that need to be drained. These are my tears and sadness. I hang it up on the line to dry.
I take off my mental body and I see how it is wrinkled and stained. These are my assumptions that need to be washed and ironed out.
Our auric bodies are removable and washable.
You are a spirit with multiple bodies. Each one serves a purpose, and each one should be treated differently — but they all need to be cleansed again and again.
On laundry days, I walk around naked in spirit — a respite from the human form.
See souls as orbs of light
Visual meditation inspired by the Emerald Tablets of Thoth
Strip away reality. Imagine yourself in a black void and every being you meet is a glowing orb of light. Some are dim and smaller. Some are large and bright. “These are the lights that are souls among men, growing and fading, existing forever, changing yet living, through death into life.” When you see people this way, you see us all the same. You see how we light the way for one another — banish the darkness that envelops us all. I see your spark of light in the void and I beam my radiance back at you — a cosmic wink — until we meet again.
Death is a floating door in space
It’s not life vs death. It’s life and death. Creation and destruction. Light and darkness. The duality of existence has to be held with all of your senses — especially your sixth one. It is in the pauses and voids that you find your missing self. Every reality that is spoken creates a reality that is unspoken. Multiverses exist within you. Don’t limit yourself to just this one way of seeing. Always stand on both sides of the doorway.
Psychedelic vision, October 15, 2022
Death is an open door frame in Space. I walk through it and nothing has changed — I’m just on the other side.
I look back at my life and wish I would have known this before.
I will not lose my self after death. You take the self with you and merge it with your other lives.
The only thing you do lose after life is the gift of your form — the ability to materialize yourself in linear time.
When you’re on the other side of the doorway, you’ll be able to be everything all at once, but you’ll miss the one reality. This is the true miracle.
You are only one thing right now, but you have infinity at your finger tips.
Stand on both sides of the doorway — and from that vantage point — create your life.
Cosmic bathtub personality mix
Vision from a psychedelic journey, April 1, 2022
I had a vision of bathtubs floating in space. It was before birth. Before I took this form. My soul tribe and I were disembodied spirits bathing in a row of cosmic bathtubs, waiting to be born. This is where we concocted our personalities — which is different from our consciousness or soul. We each sat in our own bathtub like cauldrons – adjusting the temperature and flow of the starry water — adding a little bit of this and a little bit of that — until we were just perfect for the life that we chose. We know we are not our personalities, we are the bathers in the cosmic bathtubs. Our personality is just a layer — a residue that we bathed ourselves in. It can always be washed off.
Cute vegetable-animal-human creatures grown from spore prints of consciousness
Lately I’ve been dreaming about new energies and creatures that want to be pulled into this world. In my dreams I usher them through portals, create havens, give them voice. Last night I met the cutest creatures made from consciousness spore prints, called soul prints. Here is a distant relative from a hybrid kingdom who wanted to meet you.
Gods-eye view
Gods-eye view by Midjourney
Vision from a psychedelic journey, September 3, 2022
I saw the Earth from Space. I saw all the temples and mosques and synagogues and cathedrals stacked up — one on top of the other — trying to get to God. I thought about all the ways I reach up toward God every day. Every shower is a baptism. Every walk a pilgrimage. I say Thank You over and over and over again — for my body, for life, for Love, and most of all, for my obstacles. Every bit of resistance I feel is an opportunity to grow. I stack my challenges — one on top of the other — and I climb them so that I can get to Heaven.
Choose your form
AI Art collage by Midjourney and me
Imagine all the consciousness in the universe funneling down into your head. You know everything. You see everything. But you can’t be everything and you can’t say everything. You must choose your form. At any given moment there are infinite potentials, but you can only pick one. Whatever you choose resonates and ripples out to the rest of the universe. The funnel goes both ways.
Related: Choosing your form and Whale wisdom
The Last Reunion
Midjourney
Sometimes we feel like disconnected segments of ourselves. Periods of our lives are cut off from each other. Our brain rewires and restructures itself, and we forget who we were in the past and what we felt and what we wanted. We forget this is not the only life we have lived. Someday you will call all the various versions of yourself home. Row after row of multiple you(s). Together you will walk toward the Sun. It will be your final pilgrimage, and it will feel like resting.
Guiding your rivers of doubt
I fell asleep with worries on my mind. In my dream, I found myself navigating the rivers of doubts within me. I tried to make the negative streams of energy disappear. I was told, “You can’t dispel your rivers of fears, you can only guide them.” You do this by aligning yourself with freedom and possibilities and trust. You build embankments or boundaries within you. This is how you prevent flooding of emotions. This is how you channel your gifts toward your purpose. All rivers flow toward the Sea. This is how you guide yourself toward the Universe.
Deep Continuity: the spiral web your soul weaves
A goddess of spiderwebs of alternate timelines and dimensions (Midjourney)
I dream of spiders and spiders can dream.
For several nights, I dreamed of stumbling upon spider webs. One night, I found a rainbow-colored web in the back of my closet. It was woven tightly like a sweater. The strongest material on earth made by the most fragile bodies. If you drop a tarantula from a small distance it will break and die.
In another dream, I was between the walls of Space and Time when I saw a book about the future trapped in a spider web. An old-timey radio broadcast came on and alerted the public that this book was being changed from the past. The words in printed copies were being altered as they were read.
The dream messengers said I could do this too. Write my own life across timelines — backwards and forwards. Change the past to create new futures.
Still the message is just a metaphor. Symbols are flat. And animal totems are shapeshifters. Dreams weave themselves outside of time — the meaning of them is revealed only after patience and reverence. So I carried the dreams with me for days, trying to fit them into my reality like puzzle pieces. Then one morning, I woke up to find a spider had spun part of its web on the lawn. It gleamed in the sun. I meditated on it quietly, until a meaning arose in the form of a question — what is the deepest desire that drives you?
I think of my parents, because I am a continuation of them. Their desires are encoded into my DNA and my whole life I've tried to disentangle my identity from theirs. My father, who never wanted to be poor, would spend hours shining his shoes only to hide his holey bottoms. My mother, even as a child, could never escape the male gaze, and it splintered her into a hundred pieces.
Fears often disguise themselves as desires and sit behind the wheel of all our decisions — these are things that need to be rewritten.
Your true desires are separate from any external influence. You sense them in the trajectory of your life. Every decision I have ever made has been driven by the desire to feel freedom and connect with God on my own terms.
So this is what I do. This is how I time travel. I connect with my deepest desires — not my parents, not anyone else's. I go back and sit with younger versions of myself. I consult and console. And each time I return to the now, I come back with another piece of my puzzle. This is how you establish Deep Continuity.
Sometimes I meditate and sit with my 60-year-old self. A woman I am getting to know little by little. She is graceful and wise and boundlessly loving, and I always ask her — how do I get from me to you? The path is not clear. One time I asked her in a dream "What is the difference between me and you?" and she responded, "Pull the universe toward you."
Deep Continuity is the spiral web that your soul weaves. You can travel it, back and forth across your life. You can quantum leap into paths not taken. You can extrapolate into futures not yet created. You can pull the universe toward you.
You can do this, because you now know what drives you in every direction.
The Raft Company's dissident
Psychedelic vision / dream, October 29, 2021
There was a woman who worked for The Raft Company.
Each morning she would put the rafts in the water for others to take out, and every evening she would pull them back in and put them away.
She never ventured out on her own or outside of working hours.
I told her she should take herself out into the ocean. These are your waters, I said.
The Company doesn't like that, she said. They don't want us to explore beyond what we know.
I reminded her that she owned her own raft, and didn't have to rely on The Company. She was allowed to explore beyond the territory.
But she wouldn't heed my advice, no matter how hard I pushed. I grew increasingly frustrated and then I woke myself up. I told myself I would never be like that woman who works for The Raft Company.
Every day I take out my own raft and I voyage farther than the day before.
Noticient (v.) language of the angels
Noticient, they angels said, is a sentient noticing.
It begins with noticing, then becoming conscious of the senses or intuitive sensations.
It is a state of being.
And when you let that guide you as your intelligence or a compass, then you are acting as a noticient being.
This is a doorway to connect to the angel realm.
Disembodied spirit check-in
"You're on Earth. There's no cure for that." ― Samuel Beckett
We gathered in a dream — a check-in for disembodied spirits.
A man told me I was looking bright and brilliant — better than I had before. There was a loving warmth in his words, and a familiarity in the way he spoke to me.
I alluded to a recovery. Another spirit stranger piped in and asked if I had been dying. He thought by recovery I meant a terminal illness.
I was surprised at his question, as if he should have known me better. I said, “No, I’m on the life path/plan right now — same as you — we’re all dying.”
When I woke up I knew that by recovery, I meant something in the heart chakra that needed restructuring. A healing had occurred that made my spirit shine in the dream realm.
I was grateful for my disembodied spirit check-in. We were a family of souls catching up on each other's reality progress.
I considered how I could accomplish this in my waking life. How to conduct a disembodied spirit check-in with myself.
There's a divorce that needs to happen – between reality and the spirit. A disentanglement of your identity from your life path.
“How is it going?” Your spirit friends will ask you.
Failure, disappointment, heart break — you all laugh about it together.
That's just what it's like on the life track, someone will say.
You see humor in the hurdles.
You see the finish line and are in no hurry to get there.
No one is competing.
You hang back. You catch up with your friends.
You all look bright — like new stars just birthed.
Access different types of consciousness
Imagine you are operating an old-timey telephone switchboard. See yourself unplugging the wires from the lower holes and plugging them into the upper rows. This is you shifting your awareness. This is you transforming lower frequencies of fear and doubt to the higher potentials of spirit — love, joy, play, wonder.
Now imagine shifting your awareness from the subatomic level to the Universal mind. Teach yourself to sense what the different types of consciousness feels like:
Subatomic consciousness, aware of the vast cosmic fields in which it interacts with all other subatomic consciousness.
Cellular consciousness, based on DNA blueprints, and impressed with the experiences of your life, your thoughts, and emotions.
Body consciousness, or the gestalt of cellular consciousness, plus a few ideas of its own (the body relies largely on the mental body's beliefs for its self-image, however).
Emotional consciousness, or emotions that flow through you in the moment, overlaid with past emotions that you held onto instead of allowing them to flow. Thoughts and beliefs that you use to structure reality (Be aware that any belief is only an opinion about reality.)
Spiritual consciousness, intuition, or direct cognition. This aspect taps into what's often been called Universal Mind. It's actually part of a hidden blueprint from which reality flows and contains, among other things, your species' archetypes, the heroic aspects of humanity. Through this "connective tissue" for physical reality, you can access other times, other places, and other dimensions.
Plug and unplug the wires as you shift your awareness. This is you accessing different types of consciousness.
Source: An Ascension Handbook
On reality tunnels
We are all in a cosmic movie theatre seated on our own alien tapestries. Each of us is watching a private screening of our reality. I peek over to other people’s screens but they warn me:
“There are messages meant only for others.”
They’re only going to show me what I can handle. Anything else is too much. Keep your attention on your own reality tunnel.
[Dream message, July 7, 2021. Psychic dream imagery collage created by MidJourney and me]
Grow another face
You’re aching to give voice to this other side of you. It’s beating like a new heart just below your skin. We have no language for this and we don’t talk about it and no one, but you, will give you the grace to change.
You must grow another face.
This is an all-out grab for more and more consciousness. You want to swim in multiple waves of depth and you deserve that. You deserve to be fed more than just algorithms. You are the one pulling rabbits out of the cosmic hat.
You clawed your way out of the abyss to be here now. So be here now.
You must grow another face.
There is a mythical land called Shambhala where some say Jesus and Buddha might reside, and others say it’s not really a spiritual kingdom but more of a diamond, where every ascended master is a facet or a separate side.
You are also multi-faceted. You are allowed to be multiple you(s). This is what true depth is. You can be different now. Grow another face.
We are afraid to be complicated. We mute ourselves. We stay on the surface of things. Flatten our desires. We think growing new faces means mental illness, but you’re already living with multiple voices and none of them are yours. They belong to your parents and your friends and children — and they are all outdated and uninformed.
Reformat yourself. Auto-update. Delete. Do what you have to do to grow another face.
You are allowed to be all things, then some things, and not other things, and no things — all at once.
How to Transform Consciousness
HOW THE GODDESS BROKE THROUGH ME
I had a psychedelic journey on April 1 that knocked me inward for a couple of months.
Every vision — whether it's a dream or a subtle image that bubbles to the surface — deserves to be honored with patience, attention and action. In my case, a Warrior Goddess broke through my wooden, embroidered heart.
In the journey, I was being chased for my heart. They said it was beautiful and impressive and they wanted to mount it in a museum.
I held my wooden heart in my hands and I ran and I hid. "It's not ready yet," I told them. "I'm still working on it."
Every embroidered groove and engraving was a love or a lesson or a heartbreak — and this is what made it a work of art.
The hide-and-seek game continued until I found myself cornered, but before it could be stolen, my heart cracked open and gave birth to a beautiful, Warrior Goddess with wings.
A new energy had entered my body and I knew immediately I had to make room for her, and that's what I've been doing.
HOW TO MAKE ROOM FOR A NEW ENERGY
You must quiet all the outdated, uninformed voices that live in your head and who are always eager to speak up first. You breathe into your spine. You take a step back from your body — pretend you are sleep walking. There is a new driver behind the wheel. Relinquish control.
Trust the energy — it is sourced from your heart. Your heart feels on fire — but it is not wild, it is a controlled fire — and this is the new energy that will give birth to your true voice.
Since the journey, the Goddess has been making cameos in my dreams. In dreams, she gifts me wings. She brings me cats and jewelry, and she baptizes me in fire.
She wakes me up mid-night with sticky thoughts. She tells me that I am not trusting enough. She tells me to let go. She tells me to believe. To be fearless.
But these are only words and dream images and a human needs more than words and images to transform.
HOW TO TRANSFORM CONSCIOUSNESS
On Tuesday, April 26, I woke up with a sticky thought from the Goddess. She said:
It's not just the symbols or the message — it's the flow of consciousness that breaks through you at night. It is multiple flows and it is the energy from these flows that you must feel.
During the day, when we are awake, we repress so much. At night, when our defenses are down, our true nature tries to break through us. It cracks us open with images and words and these images and words are, in actuality, flows of energy — multidimensional and encoded with so much potential for transformation.
I carry the energy from dreams with me throughout the day. I walk the world with one eye outward and one eye inward and I pay attention to synchronicities and symbols and I gravitate to whatever resonates with the energy I am carrying — and I let that be my guide posts.
This is how you transform consciousness. This is how you learn the language of your subconscious. This is how you become a co-creator with Life.
Life doesn't want to happen at you or throw itself at you. Life wants to break through you from the inside out.
How I stay grounded and soar in the skies
Me
I’ve seen what happens when a spiritual seeker becomes ungrounded. I used to believe I could only live in one world at a time, or have one and not the other, but that’s not true. You can have both.
You can be a bird with legs that grow and stretch past your current point of existence and consciousness and you can also come back home — down to earth — whenever you want.
This image was actually intuited by Kathy Crabbe, who is an artist and soul reader, and a psychic I trust. Her energy is beaming with love and creativity and kindness. I’ve been getting readings from her for more than ten years now.
She saw me as this bird and when I heard her describing the bird, I got chills (chills and goosebumps can be a confirmation of truth). She had her own interpretation of what the bird meant, and said it was important spiritual imagery for me — and it is!
And I took that imagery and I sat with it and I drew it out and in that process, I made the final decision as to what it meant for me — and that’s how all of this psyche archeology / psychic revealings should work — it can be collaborative, but ultimately, it is your fate to create.
Guidelines for psychic Readings
Healers, psychics, curanderas, priestesses, witches — this is a realm I have been comfortable with since birth. I can spot the fakes from the pure-hearted and everything in between.
Readings and healings can be revelatory or feel grossly transactional. I’m not undupable, I’ve just learned how to read the reader.
Below are my personal rules for navigating the weird world of witches and intuitives, but obviously we’re here on this Earth as consciousness explorers and you can do whatever the hell you want.
No roadside stands with neon-lit palms.
Never do love spells. There’s more creative ways to pull love into your life.
Remember, no one can read your mind, only energy — so learn how to protect yourself and how to create energetic boundaries and how to cut cords.
Walk or run away from any psychic that approaches you or becomes demanding or aggressive once you sit down.
Don’t let any one tell you you’re cursed. You’re not cursed.
You don’t need to pay for a cleansing. You can learn to cleanse yourself and rid yourself of negativity/blockages/entities/etc.
Everything is always in flux — card readings are not set in stone, no one can see your death — you are creating your own life along with the Universe.
Even experienced, gifted seers can get things wrong. Don’t let this turn you off or become a non-believer. They are only conduits and they can be biased and sometimes filter incorrectly. Align your heart with the messages you’re given, you’ll know what’s true.
To be continued …
Living Libraries
In my continuing journey to connect with “whale” consciousness, I began a correspondence with June Sananjaleen Hughes, who wrote Whale Wisdom Dolphin Joy: Ascension Teachings from the Cetaceans (mentioned here). Through her I learned of the term: living libraries — anchor points for truths.
Whales are living libraries. So are master crystals, she says, and flight patterns of migratory birds.
I want to be a living library. I carry memories in my finger tips. Each day I go out into the world and I expand my library of sensory experiences, emotions, ideas.
Someday I will be a living library of nostalgia, dreams, potentials and love.
Related: Choosing your form and Whale wisdom