Stations of Identity
“Don’t take it seriously, but take it VERY seriously.”
A diffused spirit asks “defected” Claudia what the federated or unfederated states of Claudia might look like—separate from a Republic of Claudia—and how this differs from the democracy already at work within me. I wake myself from the dream, because it’s such a good question.
In the dream, I defected from a governing force that sought to demean and violate me. As a free woman, I broke the law unafraid. These diffused spirits want me to swallow or merge with them, but as I observed the states that make up my singular identity, I said: “Let’s imagine space between their borders, so they are not merged or touching.”
These many parts, archetypes, and energies within me require their own space so that movement from one state of being to another is possible—each in its own domain.
2025 Self Questions (so far)
I copied and pasted all of my diary and dream entries into Clive Thompson’s only the questions online tool and extracted this year’s questions.
JANUARY
Why is the majority of my awareness anchored here? Does matter and touch and do physical objects exist in higher octave dimensions? What was my intention before the womb?
FEBRUARY
(As I’m writing this I’m think of my brother Steven and the life space I had not having him here) Am I processing this for my mother? What kind of love is this? What is the lesson here?
MARCH
An image of the matrix, the angel in the grid box with the world below her and a banana? Are these sacred geometries? This is in the future isn’t it? Trust? What next? Deviate? Why is love a trap? She came in to the private bedroom and she was so beautiful and I asked, Am I as beautiful as you?
APRIL
It’s so simple: just ask yourself is this love? What parts of myself would I like to feed the world? What is the highest perspective I can have? What can I do up there that I can’t do down here? What is this need to be loved by another human? Where is my higher consciousness? Like a cartel but maybe a reality cartel?
MAY
“When was it ever nice?” Is this my heart? And I say back: “If you don’t let consciousness teach you about itself who else will?”
JUNE
The Lochness Monster rises from the lake and I asked it “Where have you been? I feel like the question here is “what beauty within us do we hide from ourselves and the world?” I whisper in his ear: Can we stay like this forever? Why do I continue to forget I have an abundance of mothers who love me?
JULY
Cosmic question for Mother Earth and the evolutionary of braid time re: the energy of No (contraction and deflection and or divergence in evolution — are those all related) What part does NO energy play in evolution? Is there a pick and choose or rejection process during the metamorphosis? What the hell kind of sacred ceremony is this? What would you do if you were dancing with the rainbow? How do I protect against a flood of consciousness?
AUGUST
What does it mean to show up in full life force and not shrink back? What does it mean to consume knowledge and not share it? I wondered why is this a “ghost” story? … and so I said to one of the babies, “all babies are pure and perfect though right?”
SEPTEMBER
When will the seeding end I ask?
September 2025 Integration Notes
Reccurring archetypes, subjects, and dream content I don’t want forget:
Indiana Jones archetype (persistent dream character since 2022)
Hera Goddess (3 appearances)
1) Hera is my server and brings me more and more plates and does not clear my table. — April 20, 2025
2) As I was falling asleep, Hera pops in and says “Don’t forget me.” — July 3, 2025
3) Hera is a giant cloud figure welcoming me as I ascend into a God Heaven, and I call her my mother, and then I become her. — September 12, 2025
Nefertiti (2 appearances)
1) I’m in Nefertiti’s tomb, which has yet to be discovered, and I am remembering my own tomb and final resting place. — April 1, 2022
2) I am walking into a temple wearing Nefertiti’s blue crown — September 14, 2025
12 Soul Aspects (persistent dream content since 2021)
Maid Marian and Knights of Templar (currently dreaming about this)
Karmic vs Quantum Bleed-Through
[These concepts came through in a dream on September 2, 2025. I was processing and emotionally resonating with a friend’s dilemma and storyline that I did not recognize. In the dream, my spirit guides spoke to me and said, “This is Karmic Bleed-Through.”]
Karmic bleed-through manifests as emotional patterns, ancestral memories, or collective trauma that feels personally charged and seeks healing through you in dreams and real life. If it's karmic, it'll resurface as intense emotional reactions, recurring relationship patterns, or ancestral trauma—and it usually feels like there's a debt to balance. Your consciousness is accessing the morphic fields that contain unresolved collective patterns from lineages, cultures, or species-wide experiences. The purpose of these karmic bleed-throughs is to transmute collective trauma patterns to free both yourself, your lineages and your web networks connected to those karmic imprints. It's not yours to carry, but it is yours to understand and have compassion for. This kind of witnessing has enough power to heal.
Quantum bleed-through is different. It presents as multidimensional information, alternate timeline experiences, or parallel reality awareness that feels neutral and expansive rather than emotionally charged. You might sense multiple potential futures simultaneously, access knowledge from parallel versions of yourself, or experience consciousness existing in several dimensional states at once. You can recognize this state when synchronicities begin to ramp up, and the veil between your dreaming and waking life feels blurred. The purpose of quantum bleed-through is consciousness expansion rather than healing. You integrate multidimensional awareness to navigate reality as a co-creator rather than a servant to causality or linear time.
Working with each requires different approaches:
For karmic bleed-through, engage in conscious witnessing without taking on the identity of "healer of all collective trauma," remain unhooked from the storyline when addressing ancestral patterns, and focus on transmuting emotional charges through compassionate and higher perspectives. Practice divine discernment through neutral observation to recognize when emotions, thoughts, or patterns arise from collective fields rather than your personal karma, and remember that karma can be instantly transmuted—it is not a lifelong punishment or cross to carry.
For quantum bleed-through, focus on grounding into this one reality and anchoring your presence in the NOW moment while being receptive to multidimensional information, practice holding paradox and uncertainty as natural states, and trust your consciousness to integrate quantum information without forcing linear understanding. Both types of bleed-throughs ultimately serve the same evolutionary purpose—transitioning from individual-focused awareness to unified quantum-collective consciousness where you function as both individual sovereign and integral part of the universal field.
Different types of altered states accessible while sleeping
Channeling — various higher realm collectives will communicate during hypnagogic, hypnapompic and sleep states.
Dialogue (different from channeling, because it can happen to soul to soul, but also occurs when I travel to the angelic realm)
Time Depot Hub — Related to to timeline jumping/timeline keeping/timeline management
Astral shit cleanup duty / Soul Trash Janitor — a lot of shadow work and soul development happens here
Office of the Goddess — Goddess lovemaking in dreams are energy infusions
Shapeshifting — Related to the Animal Kingdom and for the purpose of traversing through different dimensional realms.
Mother Earth specific-channeling and Mother Earth healings (She says to me in a dream this is process is called: cell turnover)
Rainbow Arc of Dream Realms — an interrealm between dreams or a starting point to navigate dreamtime (and a different interrealm than the Time Depot Hub)
Regular basic dreaming where I exercise my spirit (spirit-strengthening) and clear out my emotional body (toilet dreams and shower dreams, usually).
Mechanical waters on fire and the natural vision
In last night’s dream, a young girl was spilling lighter fluid in the water to set fire to the seas. We tried to snuff it out with a tower of machinery—old car parts, boat fragments and helicopter chunks.
Today in waking life, on the road back from LA, I see only the natural elements of the earth—water, fruits, trees and skies.
What happens to my perception of reality when I ignore the rest?
Memory Log - August 2024
Phrases, mantras, and concepts that I don’t want to forget. Seeds to plant and keep watering:
I see the golden 8s showering us from the cosmos: I see the agreement to come down to earth to be horizontal linear creatures like the animals. This is how we become family with the earth, the jewel of our galaxy. — Channeled vision, August 8, 2024 (Lion’s Gate)
We come down on giant waves of water toward the earth. There are epochs of this and periods of no descending. — Clairaudient dream, July 29, 2024
“Disenjar” Cristy, they said. Disenjar is a hybrid word meaning to remove from a confined state and release. Cristy, being my inner child aspect. — Dream, July 10, 2024
“Caption the moment”: What’s it like to wake up and only think about yourself? This is said in a positive way, as separatism is part of the game. But we’re enmeshed in the collective field. I see it as captions or indexes of moments. Describe what the secret desire of Claudia is at this moment. Like in stage plays—everyone with their own beat and energy arrow headed in a specific way. What is everyone’s true desire here? You should be aware of it every moment, and caption it. — Dream, July 28, 2024. (Two nights later, my angelic guides presented this in another way to understand better)
“Unhook from the storyline.” An old dream message that keeps resurfacing.
“Clear Paths, Open Roads” / "Living heaven on earth" — Mantras spoken in a Medicine Journey, July 6, 2024
"Nothing to prove, all to express" — Akashic Records, August 17, 2024
“From Prisoner to Potential.” — The Changing Fish jumping out of the cup of water. Voice Dialogue / Dreamwork Session, August 19, 2024.
Above Earth memory
Clairaudient dream vision:
“We come down on giant waves of water toward the earth. There are epochs of this and periods of no descending.”
Dream Fragments, 01-22-2024
I’m waiting to be arrested when the cop whispers to me, “You know you’re a fast runner right?” I realize I can just leave, so I do.
Shaq Attack: Shaq sneaks into my bedroom at night and tries to violate me, but I take him down despite my smaller size.
I’m in a dream realm where everyone ages many years while I’m in conversation with them.
Tall Printers: Can print really tall pages — not long pages, but tall ones. A few nights later I see a tall book in a separate dream and remember my tall printer.
Journey notes, 12-04-2023
AI-summarized notes from a conversation with my friend Sarah about my recent psychedelic journey.
On Higher Consciousness and Spirit Guides
During my psychedelic journey on December 1, I spent a lot of time negotiating how much information higher realms should provide
Realized higher self is always connected to higher realms, but now 3D self is also connecting more with guidance and information
Everything happens on etheric/astral level first before manifesting physically
I have multiple higher selves we can connect with, not just one
Many worlds/realms exist, each with own timelines - we are creating realities and serving as "patronesses" of specific energies
On Goddesses and Archetypes
Felt presence of and connection to Divine Feminine creator, realized significance of cosmic womb/egg in creation (I came back with a persistent prayer ending with “In her womb”
Higher beings give us myths/stories (like Dune) to awaken people to certain archetypes/energies
Soul guides explained that the movie The Marvels depicts a good example of quantum entanglement/physics of consciousness
Stella Maris (a collective being) is aligned with higher cetacean beings, and serves as aquatic library of prehistoric knowledge
On Shadow Work and Karma
Shadow work helps repressions/limitations surface so they can be healed
Before incarnating, soul imprints with karmic threads/emotions that need to be cleared (Sarah shared this insight with me)
Our pets process emotional energies/karma for us too
On Assignments and Growth
Dreams/visions provide guidance on next projects/growth areas
One of my personal assignments is to find language to translate etheric downloads into accessible human concepts
Soul guide nudges help build trust in higher support while retaining free will
Reality Debrief, 11-20-2023
💭 Thought Fragments
Motion in dreams serve as energies to embody to loosen up the rigidity of our mental frameworks. For example: I dream I am 40 and I am jumping up and down as mode of travel down a street. I come across a younger woman and I say to her, “Here’s a secret for when you turn 40. When you’re 40 you’ll want to jump everywhere!” And I jump away. In waking life I’ll be 40 in about six months, but in the dream I already knew that after 40 I will no longer walk or run to get from point A to point B, I’ll jump there. Maybe this symbolizes leaps in growth or judgement or jumping to conclusions, or maybe this is what wisdom represents, that I have earned a certain amount of life or leeway and I can now get to a space or arrive at a state of mind via a faster method.
The purpose of Media in integration. I feel guided by books, films and music as if they are alive energies or media spirit guides nudging me along the path. The next book is always the perfect book. I practice bibliomancy every day and the passage I read always confirms what I dreamed the night before. Films often fill in the blank spots and questions I have about my dream content. It’s like the dream imagery comes first, and if I have no answers for it, the media will resolve the questions. Right now, I’m slowly watching Defending Your Life with Albert Brooks, which is making sense of all my Interlife / Above Earth memories and dreams.
Reality Debrief, 11-15-2023
WHAT’S ABOVE ALIENS?
“Humanity wants to reach for the stars but very often cannot even reach for the hand of its neighbor. …As much as humanity might want to meet its cousins from the sky, they will not initiate an open contact program until humanity can embrace its brothers across the street. It is up to this planet. It is humanity who is calling the shots. ”
What’s above or beyond aliens? Only prime matter and source energy. The consciousness of creation. Infinite possibilities for new planes of existence and realities.
What's important is not the communication with ETs or higher beings, but the transformation that happens within you as a result — and the art form is in the translation of these higher dimensional messages.
Reality Debrief, 11-14-2023
💭 THOUGHTS I HAD TODAY
Music can transmute emotions instantly, pulling you out of whatever mood you're in. Letting go of grievances and judgements creates space for the Universe to surprise you. This morning while showering this song came on and instantly wiped the slate clean from any feelings or expectations I had toward the day.
There are multiple timelines and continuums. We interact with aspects of ourselves from different timelines in dreams. Staying aligned with our divine purpose keeps the timelines straight. Related dream
The role of a Lightworker or an Energy Healer can be simply described as holding a high frequency. This is how — one by one —we can affect mass consciousness and change the future.
There are heavens and utopias where the soul finds respite, yet we come back to Earth or this 3D Reality to grow through challenges. There is no FINISH LINE, only periods of rest in a continuous cycle of growth and evolution.
Grounding oneself and reconnecting with reality can be a powerful tool in managing emotions and perceptions. This involves not making assumptions about others' moods or expectations, but rather focusing on the present moment and the infinite possibilities it holds. Remember, reality is far more interesting than our worries and fears.
Reality Debrief, 11-13-2023
BYPASSING THE “MIND SENSE”
I’m becoming more aware of the shortcuts my mind takes to create reality. My brain pieces everything together so quickly — before my other senses. I’m practicing letting my other senses guide me throughout the day. Grounding myself and energy from moment to moment.
MY INTEGRITY POINT
A book highlight that resurfaced today. Rest in peace Antero Alli.
"C-1 Task #1: Locating an I.P. (The Integrity Point) Determine where, in the course of your daily life, you can say with total honesty “I can stand behind this 100%.” Call this area your I.P., your 100% integrity point. NOTE: an I.P. can be almost anything—your love for your dog, your favorite theory of everything, your car, your genitalia, your internet addiction, your God or Goddess, your morning cup of coffee."
(Antero Alli, The Eight-Circuit Brain)
I tagged this as #to-do. Today my Integrity Point — something that I can stand behind 100% — is Introspection as a form of spiritual evolution. Introspection does not lead to individualism or narcissism. Individuation is an element of the Introspection process, but what I have found is that Introspection leads to integration of polarities and brings me closer and closer to Unity.
DREAM SNIPPET
Trying to control the timelines but everyone keeps making dumb ass decisions. A man convinces himself he’s going to become Houdini before Houdini becomes Houdini, just because he looks good in a top hat.
LINKS
Dreaming is how we collect the lost parts of our souls lost in other realms. We dream ourselves awake. Jung and the Woman Who Lived on the Moon
NOPE. Scientists Are Researching a Device That Can Induce Lucid Dreams on Demand
Notes on Multidimensional Consciousness
Consciousness follows a "Torus effect," which entails highly non-linear time with everything happening simultaneously in the NOW moment
We are all actors in the play of life, following a script initially pre-selected or devised by our HIGHERSELVES residing in higher dimensional consciousness for the good of all
We possess an inherent capability, the 6th sense or power of intuition, which originates from beyond space-time and serves as a means for us to stay attuned with our HIGHERSELF
Physicality is illusory, as we mostly thrive beyond time and space in higher dimensions, in our ethereal or angelic state
We incarnate in this timeline to play a role in each other's lives, facilitating the process of spiritual education, and should abstain from judging one another
These bullet points are summarized from Mohsen Paul Sarfarazi’s papers on multidimensional consciousness available online here.
Your dreambody is an Avatar and how to grow a bigger vessel
Some people call it Spirit — this invisible force that guides us. I call them my guides or angels — but it is Spirit and “in a sense” it is my higher spirit.
Lately I see the visual of angles or angels as angles. These rays of light that originate from higher realms and intersect on this plane, and in that intersection I find a merged consciousness that wants to speak and so I give it voice.
At first, I wondered if I was channeling. I tried to be very aware and conscientious that maybe my system was being hijacked. I am not paranoid or an alarmist by nature, but I am hypervigilant to ensure I never feel puppeteered. It’s vital to this path that I ask questions and I advocate for myself, in real life and in dreams.
A dream is a composite of other realities and realms. The goal is not to become lucid in dreams, but to become lucid in waking life. As that happens, you begin to see waking life is no different than a dream. The Universe is always communicating with you.
Dreams should feel like soul hunting. You wake up with more aspects of your soul. Your energetic body becomes a bigger vessel.
One day, you’ll realize your dreambody is an Avatar. A composite itself — just like dreams – a new body merged from other dimensions and timelines.
My spirit guides gave me a dream once about my container being too small or unequipped for the consciousness streams coming through. Over time, I grew a bigger boat or vessel.
How did I do that? I believe it was this process of introspection, reflection and integration. I believe every dream is a request for action, and by sharing my dreams and visions I eject them from my energetic system. This helps me avoid overloading or burn out. Daily practices for me also include grounding exercises and psychic protection visualizations, but most importantly I keep the channels of communication with the higher realms open in the form of prayer, invocation or meditation. I don’t do all of them each day, but I do at least one.
This whole life process for me is about growing a bigger boat.
My aim is not to reach a Buddhic state or sainthood. I love being human and imperfect. I welcome confusion and emotional knots. I value obstacles in life because my spiritual toolkit for solving these problems keeps growing. It’s such a heavenly gift to be able to learn from life and this is why I incarnated.
Life on Earth is school and in my heart I’ve always been that kid in the class who sits in the front and asks a lot of questions. This is innate to my personality, even beyond Earth.
I used to think Teacher’s Pet was a negative complex or trait, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to be a Teacher’s Pet if that teacher is the God beyond Gods and the Source from which we came from.
But for NOW, and in this brief lifetime, my teachers are Earth and Humanity and Divine Love.
Visions of the Holographic Universe, Magnetars and Flowering in Spirit
“He was remembering with his mind and she was remembering with her senses.”
As I woke up this morning, I saw my body stretch out toward the sun and my arms stretch above my head as if I was flowering 🪷. I felt like I had physically flowered, but in reality my body didn’t move an inch. Then I opened my eyes having already stretched out my spirit.
🌌 Inner imagery:
Visions of the Holographic Universe. In dreams, I see glimpses of layered horizons. Time as a linear line and and Time as angles entering from parallel dimensions. Stellar rays project into the Earth sphere creating distortions, reflections and reality screens. Somewhere in all the energy noise I find myself as beams of light converging. I see how our physicality and our form is created from beyond the horizons.
Working map of my astral travels and visions of the holographic universe. Need to add more dimensions of consciousness and realms I’ve visited to date.
🤫 Secret desires:
To become a Magnetar after death and be described as a “highly magnetic stellar corpse” Why? Because I’m made of stardust and consciousness is magnetic and all I want to do is be bright and pull the universe toward me.
The Sacred Dancer Archetype
The Sacred Dancer Archetype
I travel between the worlds like a journalist. I ask questions. Demand answers.
I ask “Who am I?”
Am I the voice that is asking questions?
No. I am the one that is remembering.
They say, You are the Sacred Dancer integrating all the frequencies.
The Sacred Dancer does not need to understand.
She is movement and grace and spinning through realities.
She trusts the rhythm and flow and never asks why.
Related: Dream from Monday, November 14, 2022