“Grab-n-go” approach to opening up portals and shadow realms
DREAM, JUNE 19, 2025
3:33am “Grab-n-go” theyre telling me. I don’t quite understand. I ask, do you mean like a convenience store? My guides are referring to the journey space and portal I will be opening up for someone else. “Treat it like a grab-n-go,” they say.
UPDATED SEPTEMBER 6, 2025
“Grab-n-go” seems to be about developing precision and efficiency when navigating challenging or dark energies. With deeper shamanic mastery, you learn to enter the shadow realms, gather what’s needed, and exit quickly—without getting pulled in or consumed.
Grab the insights, and then go. Disengage and move on rather than lingering or becoming entangled. A shaman must learn to extract what is useful with precision, without being weighed down. This discernment allows engagement with shadow material without depleting one’s own energy or resources.
The goal is to gather wisdom efficiently, then return focus to one’s higher purpose and path. This approach enables moving through the shadow realms with intention and awareness, rather than becoming lost or overwhelmed—maintaining clarity and momentum on the journey.
Dancing with the opposites (a framework for neutrality)
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Opposites are complementary, not enemies. At higher levels of awareness, “me vs. you” becomes “we,” and light/dark, masculine/feminine, material/spiritual are seen as partners rather than combatants.
Distinguish “duality” (conflict, hierarchy, better/worse) from “polarity” (complementary forces along a spectrum). Polarity thinking treats pairs as interdependent energies to be leveraged over time—maximizing upsides of both poles and minimizing downsides—rather than problems to solve.
The “third” transforms the two. When opposites are truly met, a third emerges: a center stance, a new synthesis, or a neutral witness.
Integration dissolves false boundaries. As you make room for what was disowned—shame, shadow, the “other” in self—dualities soften and a wider identity comes online.
Tension is creative fuel. Paradox and contradiction aren’t glitches—they’re power sources. Creativity arises in “incessant interacting tensions.”
Limits are coordinates, not cages. We don’t transcend by denying form—we learn the “wisdom of shape-shifting”—using constraints to express distinctiveness and then go beyond.
A practical framework for neutrality (a “dance with opposites”)
Name the polarity and declare your “greater purpose.” Map the pair (e.g., independence–interdependence). Identify the energizing upside of each pole and the overused downside. Then articulate the “greater purpose” the polarity serves—what you’re actually trying to uplift—so managing the loop becomes win/win. This follows your polarity mapping insights: the interdependent “win/win or lose” dynamic, maximizing both upsides/minimizing downsides, and using the natural tension to lift toward a “greater purpose”.
Switch to “and” language and both/and goals. Replace either/or with statements that honor both poles’ gifts. “We’ll protect focus and increase exploration.” This simple language shift prevents misdiagnosing polarities as problems to “solve.” Polarities are unsolvable, ongoing energy systems and must be held with “and,” not “or”.
Install the neutral witness. Create a stance that can include both poles without fusing with either: a present, embodied, paradox-friendly “center.”
Let ambivalence be fully felt (don’t rush to fix). Drop the pressure to perform—name what’s here (“I feel love and fear,” “I don’t know”). This allows the deeper psyche to “cook” opposites into insight in the “cauldron of paradox”.
Manage the infinity loop over time. Expect the natural swing: upside A → downside A → upside B → downside B → repeat. Use the downsides as cues to shift gracefully back to the other pole’s upside. This is “dancing,” not defeating.
Neutrality = presence + purpose, not apathy. Define neutrality as non-reactivity and “indifference to outcome” that frees creative manifestation—which is distinct from disengagement. It’s choosing not to be hooked while staying aligned to your greater purpose.
Use state shifts when polarized. When you’re caught in a story, change state: move, breathe, shower, dance, create—then revisit with wider perspective. Embodiment expands circulation and options.
Alchemize emotion—don’t bypass it. Emotion bonds realities and dissolves inner walls when owned and felt—it’s essential to integration. Facing hurt and outrage can reintegrate missing parts and unhook karmic dramas.
Cross-train your inner masculine and feminine. Develop feeling/relational intelligence alongside clarity/agency. This balances inner polarities and enriches sexuality, creativity, and leadership.
Touch the transcendent regularly. Meditation or deep stillness gives you the “white of the Absolute,” a direct taste of neutrality beyond the play of opposites. It also helps “leave behind the Big Three” (body, environment, time) when you need perspective.
What “transcendence” becomes
Not an escape from life, but intimacy with all of it. The center is not disembodied—it’s a wider presence that includes anger and love, body and spirit, self and other, without collapsing into sides.
A longer arc of integration. Integration leads to transcending prior limits while staying in harmony with what came before—less “control,” more surrender to a deeper organizing intelligence.
A humility that keeps learning. Neutrality softens ego-certainty so new data, people, and possibilities can enter—which is necessary to transcend our “comfort zones.”
Advice for processing fear
“Fear can be processed by: 1) Accepting and giving it expression and 2) Responding creatively by restoring safety yourself. ”
Simple transmutation healing
Dream, July 31, 2021
I was transmuting pain inside people. There was a long line waiting in the astral realm for this kind of energy healing. I couldn’t reach everyone during Dreamtime—I had to wake up. I told them, “Tomorrow, we’ll continue with this.”
How did I do it?
I saw energy inside each person. If it appeared dark, I changed it to blue or another lighter color.
I’ve got a heart and two legs
Hypnagogic vision portal, June 28, 2025 @ 1:38am
My angelic guides advise me to watch male comedians to help regulate my emotional system and soften my heart toward patriarchal masculinity. They encourage me to see the humor in this staged reality we live in.
Comedian Ali Siddiq steps into the vision and gives me a private show. He says something, emphasizing, “…I’ve got a heart and two legs…”
This feels important to remember—a mantra to help me cope and walk out of any uncomfortable or negative emotion that doesn’t serve my soul’s growth or isn’t necessary for me to feel.
“I’ve got a heart and two legs—to walk out of here with.” It instantly empowers me, grounding me in my body and reminding me I can always choose to move forward.
Notes on emotional transmutation and utopias
Utopias: Steps in Growth
Utopias and heavens do exist—we can journey to them in our astral bodies. They offer respite and a glimpse of paradise. However, they are not the end goal, but rather a part of the cycle of growth. After experiencing these utopias, we return to our reality, bringing back the lessons and insights we've gained. There's no ultimate 'winning or final ascension, but rather a continuous journey of growth and evolution.
Music: Emotional Alchemy
Music has the ability to instantly transmute emotions, altering our mood and taking us out of whatever mental or emotional state we're in. The transformative power of music can be harnessed to help us navigate our emotional landscape.
New Day, New Mindset
Each new day presents an opportunity to wipe away thoughts, judgments, fears, annoyances, and grievances. I know it’s easier said than done, but it's crucial to avoid carrying these negative emotions from one day to the next. Instead, embrace the fresh start that each new day brings.
Reconnect with Reality Now
Grounding oneself and reconnecting with reality can be a powerful tool in managing emotions and perceptions. This involves not making assumptions about others' moods or expectations, but rather focusing on the present moment and the infinite possibilities it holds. Remember that reality is far more interesting than our worries and fears.
Six rules for knowing higher worlds
Below are six foundational principles to master before communicating with higher realms. Inspired and paraphrased from “How to Know Higher Worlds” by Rudolf Steiner.
Create a chain of “true” thoughts and harmonious actions.
Correct all illogical and out of sync thinking and actions.
Stay true your values: Divine Love, Beauty, Truth, Humor, Play
Cultivate follow through and perseverance.
Do not withdraw your light from the darkness — seek to understand it.
Practice openness and impartiality toward all the phenomena of life. Banish timidity and have fail in your goal of understanding the shadows.
“Hold the neutrality stick.”
"All fear is useless. I must not let it take hold of me. I must think only of what is to be done." In fact, we must reach a point, in situations that earlier would have caused us to be afraid, in which the very idea of fear and lack of courage become things impossible for us to conceive in the core of our soul." — Rudolf Steiner, How to Know Higher Worlds
Removal of Negative Energetic Parasites
Below is a summary of what causes or attracts energetic parasites and how to fight against or remove these suppressive entities. This is not advice. Do not pull out your hair. I’m only sharing to bring awareness to these entities, not to breed paranoia. If you are prone to paranoia, or fearful of demons or aliens do not read.
Source: "Negative Aliens and Suppressor Parasite Entities (SPEs)" by Mohsen Paul Sarfarazi, Ph.D
SPEs are said to originate from two sources. The first is through parasitic feeding, where they control your mind by mimicking your vocal frequency, leading you to believe that their whispers are your own thoughts. This control can lead to self-destructive behaviors, such as addiction, which can allow these entities to grow and potentially possess you.
(If you have a negative thought, question where it comes from. If it did not originate from you, release it/shake it off/protect yourself with a prayer or invocation.)
The second source of SPEs is from resistance to your efforts, particularly if you are a lightworker or someone in service to humanity who speaks against negative aliens. These entities can cause pain as they find you too strong and resolved to subdue.
To remove these entities, the author suggests pulling them out (energetically, not physically), starting from the hair around the top of your ears where they form an attachment.
The best strategy, however, is to strengthen your will power, never submit to fear, and continue doing good to raise your frequency higher. The author emphasizes the importance of preserving the sanctity of your divine inherent solar energetic consciousness.
How to tell the difference between Community vs Cults (WIP)
“My personality casts only a particular size net to get to know the world, but you all fill in the rest.”
— Clairaudient dream, Tuesday, September 19, 2023
This is what community means. Each of us maps out our own personal universe. We fill in the gaps for each other. We work collaboratively to uncover the nature of reality and consciousness by sharing our dreams and insights with one another.
As a child, my spirituality was inextricable from organized religions (including one that could be considered a cult). I had no choice or autonomy, and because of that, as a young adult, I stayed far away from any kind of community or communal living — including platonic roommates or even study groups.
I never again wanted strangers holding me accountable for something — especially the evolution of my soul.
Now as an older adult, I want to redefine what community means to me.
I don’t have it figured out yet, but here is where I will keep my list of how I can tell the difference between community vs cults.
I get to show up as a I am in the moment — no pretenses, no judgement.
I am able to transform. The community encourages and supports individual metamorphosis and change.
I can drop in when I want to and come and go as a I please. I owe no one an explanation for my absence, and we greet each other with only love and joy.
No required reading. Period.
I feel inspired and renewed after gatherings. I should never feel lethargic, mind-fucked or like my life-force has been drained from me.
As a community, one of our purposes is to shine light on each other’s divine gifts. In this way, we act like clear mirrors for one another.
Updated: How to be be charismatic and attract your destiny
“Think about what would save your life, and then reach toward that.”
At a festive gathering — in between the worlds — a skinny, awkward man asks a charismatic witch man what he could do to attract love and his destiny. The witch man says, “Sit at the corner of the table and think about what you could do or say to save your life right now and then reach toward that.”
Dream, September 27, 2021
Charisma is your personal magic. It's so easy to recognize charisma in others — they are charming and alluring. "Reach toward what would save your life" means align yourself with your natural gifts and divine purpose and then head toward that — and don't look back. Your love and destiny will follow.
How to avoid curses
My mirrored goddess, meets me in a dark realm. I ask her, “How can I avoid curses?”
She answers: “How can they curse something that shapeshifts and never walks in a straight line?”
She teaches me to wear mirrors as protection. Any energy and thoughtforms sent my way is reflected back. If it’s bad, it’s bad. If it’s Love, then it’s so much Love beamed back brighter than before.
Translating your divinity
Your Spontaneous Self is a correspondence between intelligence, intuition and inspiration. This is Divinity — a free-flowing stream of information from the higher realms.
The rational mind doesn’t have to navigate Life alone. You can experience the Divine without understanding it.
You are allowed to say, “I have no words.”
Your Spontaneous Self just knows. Somewhere between Angels and Animals, you can find yourself.
The astral assignment I give to myself (and to you) is to find a way to translate your divinity. If not words, then art. If not art, then service. If not service, then just by being.
How to tell the difference between Judgement and Discernment
Judgement hardens you. You feel it in your body. Judgement is mental and emotional rigidity. When you place a value judgement on reality, you stiffen it.
Discernment is closely aligned with your innate Intuition. It has your highest good in mind. Discernment has no emotion attached it, it just knows. It reminds you to protect yourself — reset your energetic boundaries and rethink your next move.
Discernment allows for the flowing of life, Judgement resists it.
Judgement will make you a victim to reality and Discernment empowers you to create reality.
Emotions as the doorway to higher frequencies
Abraham-Hicks Emotional Guidance Scale
Emotions as both a ladder and a doorway to higher frequencies. You can’t jump from Anger to Joy, you must climb the rungs one by one. Likewise, you can’t bypass the dense, bad emotions. You have to walk through the front door of an emotion and trust you’ll find another door out. Every emotion can transform you for the better. RELATED
Washing instructions for auric bodies
When your body feels heavy with emotion, remember you can take it off like clothing.
In a vision I see everything as pale denim blue, like all the colors have run by mistake.
I take off my emotional body and I see pockets of fluid that need to be drained. These are my tears and sadness. I hang it up on the line to dry.
I take off my mental body and I see how it is wrinkled and stained. These are my assumptions that need to be washed and ironed out.
Our auric bodies are removable and washable.
You are a spirit with multiple bodies. Each one serves a purpose, and each one should be treated differently — but they all need to be cleansed again and again.
On laundry days, I walk around naked in spirit — a respite from the human form.
Night terror hate mind-dump
I woke up at 11:54pm on Saturday, October 29 with the message that I should be doing a nightly “Night terror hate mind-dump.”
Usually my astral homework is not as aggressive-sounding, but the purpose of these divine “assignments” seems to be to help unblock stuck energy and emotions.
So last night before bed, I did it. I created a note on my phone and I listed all my nightmare-inducing stressors. After I wrote them out I stared at my list and read them over and over until they seemed ridiculous and irrational.
Then, I let out a deep breath and let myself fall asleep peacefully, without the weight of these invisible terrors.
FYI, “Chona” is my dad’s 4-year-old English bulldog who is perfectly healthy, but who I often worry about for no good reason. Here is a picture of her insisting she is a lap dog, taken on my 38th birthday:
See souls as orbs of light
Visual meditation inspired by the Emerald Tablets of Thoth
Strip away reality. Imagine yourself in a black void and every being you meet is a glowing orb of light. Some are dim and smaller. Some are large and bright. “These are the lights that are souls among men, growing and fading, existing forever, changing yet living, through death into life.” When you see people this way, you see us all the same. You see how we light the way for one another — banish the darkness that envelops us all. I see your spark of light in the void and I beam my radiance back at you — a cosmic wink — until we meet again.
How to clarify your intentions
A public service announcement from my higher self.
Hold each intention up to the sun – see what drives you.
Message from a dream, September 20, 2022
Your intentions propel you through life.
If they are cloudy or driven by ego or fear then where you end up could be somewhere you don’t want to be.
If you want to see your future hold your intentions up to the Sun, one by one.
See what is really driving you.
Anything short of divine will is only cheating yourself.
Guiding your rivers of doubt
I fell asleep with worries on my mind. In my dream, I found myself navigating the rivers of doubts within me. I tried to make the negative streams of energy disappear. I was told, “You can’t dispel your rivers of fears, you can only guide them.” You do this by aligning yourself with freedom and possibilities and trust. You build embankments or boundaries within you. This is how you prevent flooding of emotions. This is how you channel your gifts toward your purpose. All rivers flow toward the Sea. This is how you guide yourself toward the Universe.