Claudia Dawson 10/31/22 Claudia Dawson 10/31/22

Night terror hate mind-dump

I woke up at 11:54pm on Saturday, October 29 with the message that I should be doing a nightly “Night terror hate mind-dump.”

Usually my astral homework is not as aggressive-sounding, but the purpose of these divine “assignments” seems to be to help unblock stuck energy and emotions.

So last night before bed, I did it. I created a note on my phone and I listed all my nightmare-inducing stressors. After I wrote them out I stared at my list and read them over and over until they seemed ridiculous and irrational.

Then, I let out a deep breath and let myself fall asleep peacefully, without the weight of these invisible terrors.

FYI, “Chona” is my dad’s 4-year-old English bulldog who is perfectly healthy, but who I often worry about for no good reason. Here is a picture of her insisting she is a lap dog, taken on my 38th birthday:

Claudia Dawson 10/31/22 Claudia Dawson 10/31/22

The dying pig mother and her suckling piglets

*The image above was created using text prompts on Midjourney. I didn’t want to create anything as photorealistic as my dream, but I will describe it in detail below.*

Nightmare, August 29, 2022

I rarely have nightmares. Not all dreams evoke positive feelings, most are perplexing and paradoxical, but never this gruesome.

I come across a mutilated, dying pig mother. She is bloody and there is a litter of piglets suckling her. She is deflating and losing all of her life force. I want to help, but I don’t know what to do.

If her piglets continue to feed off of her she will flatten and die. She needs time to rest and recuperate, but the piglets are too young to wean off. They won’t survive without her warmth and milk.

There is no happy ending for this event, which makes this a nightmare.

The gift of this gruesome imagery arrived when I realized I am both the pig mother and the piglets. I can be draining and co-dependent and I can also give and give and give of myself until there is nothing left.

Love needs boundaries. When I feel imbalanced or unhappy in love, I ask myself who am I right now? Am I the dying pig mother or am I the draining piglets?

Claudia Dawson 9/6/22 Claudia Dawson 9/6/22

Choose your form

Imagine all the consciousness in the universe funneling down into your head. You know everything. You see everything. But you can’t be everything and you can’t say everything. You must choose your form. At any given moment there are infinite potentials, but you can only pick one. Whatever you choose resonates and ripples out to the rest of the universe. The funnel goes both ways.

Claudia Dawson 6/13/22 Claudia Dawson 6/13/22

Subtle-body sermonette

What my body truly wants is the freedom to expand and contract without any outside judgement. Without my own judgement. Every month, I shrink and bloat with the moon. My body is alive and mutating and aging and no, I will never punish my body. This is my spaceship. It carries me forth. I climb mountains with it. I align it with my other bodies – subtle or otherwise. My head, heart and gut are all priests in the same temple. I breathe into my spine, set boundaries, widen the stillness within me, stand barefoot on the grass, soak up the sun, leap past man-made intelligences. One body feeds the others. We set off to other worlds.

Claudia Dawson 10/1/21 Claudia Dawson 10/1/21

Sensory Self-Soothing Kit

Claudia Dawson 8/18/21 Claudia Dawson 8/18/21

On sacred loneliness

This is not a how-to. There are no steps for shifting loneliness into solitude. Loneliness is an intrusion that makes my bones cold. Loneliness feels like a void and Solitude is a sanctuary. Some days I just feel separate from the universe.

I think of the Rupi Kaur quote “Loneliness is a sign you are in desperate need of yourself,” but what I am missing is not myself, but my connection with the Divine. And Yes, I know the Divine is also me, but knowing this doesn’t make the loneliness go away.

The gaping hole in my heart grows wider and I ache for a sign, or a signal of love, or for someone to seek me out. When I was in my twenties this is when I would go out to bars, get drunk, sleep around — anything to escape myself. What I do now is different.

I seek out nothing. I acknowledge that I am in pain and I sit with it. I imagine other humans feeling this same profound sadness with no source point and I breathe into that feeling. This is how I create an equilibrium. I remind myself this is a condition of being human. I find connection in the separateness and that is what brings me comfort.

This mystifying grief called loneliness belongs to you and it belongs to me and everyone else, and that is what makes it sacred.

Claudia Dawson 5/21/21 Claudia Dawson 5/21/21

Ways to stop worrying what other people think

Claudia Dawson 3/13/21 Claudia Dawson 3/13/21

Warning signs of Anxiety

Claudia Dawson 2/10/21 Claudia Dawson 2/10/21

Advice about difficult friendships

It shouldn't be hard to be friends with someone. The sooner you realize this the sooner you'll start making real friends.

— Reddit LPT

Claudia Dawson 1/8/21 Claudia Dawson 1/8/21

Favorite quotes: Warrior Goddess Training by HeatherAsh Amara

The first step to claiming your strength and igniting your will is to get clear about what you want. Not what your victim wants, or what your judge wants, or what you would like, but what your highest vision and purpose is for yourself. What I have found is that when you get clear about your heart's desire, the Universe steps up in magnificent ways to support you!
So I say, if you are burning, burn. If you can stand it, the shame will burn away and leave you shining, radiant, and righteously shameless. —Elizabeth Cunningham
What is your main taproot? Make it deep and solid. Redirect it if it has grown attached to a person or ideal. Anchor yourself in infinity, in earth, to the life-force. Where is your true source of energy and stability? Reach deep.
How to clear old emotions: Take five minutes each day, whether you feel like it or not, to move through some emotions. You can also do this by dancing vigorously and yelling. Use your voice; scream, cry, om, growl . . . let your emotions move!
Life does not personally punish people or seek to cause suffering; it simply moves.
When you let go of who you wish you were, you reclaim your power to be radiantly, magnetically, and creatively who you are.

Claudia Dawson 1/4/21 Claudia Dawson 1/4/21

How to define your problems

To start defining your problems, say (out loud) “everything in my life is completely fine. Notice what objections arise.

— #53 on 100 Tips For A Better Life

Claudia Dawson 12/28/20 Claudia Dawson 12/28/20

“Everything is Awful” questions

Claudia Dawson 12/22/20 Claudia Dawson 12/22/20

An action plan for effective worrying

Ask yourself for evidence. Is this worry based on something that has happened before? Do you have reason to believe it is realistic? Write that down, but then also consider whether there is evidence against the worry coming true. If so, identify actions you can take to solve the problem. Write out the pros and cons of those actions. Choose one of those actions, and try it.

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