Memory Log - August 2024
Phrases, mantras, and concepts that I don’t want to forget. Seeds to plant and keep watering:
I see the golden 8s showering us from the cosmos: I see the agreement to come down to earth to be horizontal linear creatures like the animals. This is how we become family with the earth, the jewel of our galaxy. — Channeled vision, August 8, 2024 (Lion’s Gate)
We come down on giant waves of water toward the earth. There are epochs of this and periods of no descending. — Clairaudient dream, July 29, 2024
“Disenjar” Cristy, they said. Disenjar is a hybrid word meaning to remove from a confined state and release. Cristy, being my inner child aspect. — Dream, July 10, 2024
“Caption the moment”: What’s it like to wake up and only think about yourself? This is said in a positive way, as separatism is part of the game. But we’re enmeshed in the collective field. I see it as captions or indexes of moments. Describe what the secret desire of Claudia is at this moment. Like in stage plays—everyone with their own beat and energy arrow headed in a specific way. What is everyone’s true desire here? You should be aware of it every moment, and caption it. — Dream, July 28, 2024. (Two nights later, my angelic guides presented this in another way to understand better)
“Unhook from the storyline.” An old dream message that keeps resurfacing.
“Clear Paths, Open Roads” / "Living heaven on earth" — Mantras spoken in a Medicine Journey, July 6, 2024
"Nothing to prove, all to express" — Akashic Records, August 17, 2024
“From Prisoner to Potential.” — The Changing Fish jumping out of the cup of water. Voice Dialogue / Dreamwork Session, August 19, 2024.
Reality Debrief, 11-14-2023
đź’ THOUGHTS I HAD TODAY
Music can transmute emotions instantly, pulling you out of whatever mood you're in. Letting go of grievances and judgements creates space for the Universe to surprise you. This morning while showering this song came on and instantly wiped the slate clean from any feelings or expectations I had toward the day.
There are multiple timelines and continuums. We interact with aspects of ourselves from different timelines in dreams. Staying aligned with our divine purpose keeps the timelines straight. Related dream
The role of a Lightworker or an Energy Healer can be simply described as holding a high frequency. This is how — one by one —we can affect mass consciousness and change the future.
There are heavens and utopias where the soul finds respite, yet we come back to Earth or this 3D Reality to grow through challenges. There is no FINISH LINE, only periods of rest in a continuous cycle of growth and evolution.
Grounding oneself and reconnecting with reality can be a powerful tool in managing emotions and perceptions. This involves not making assumptions about others' moods or expectations, but rather focusing on the present moment and the infinite possibilities it holds. Remember, reality is far more interesting than our worries and fears.
Death is a floating door in space
It’s not life vs death. It’s life and death. Creation and destruction. Light and darkness. The duality of existence has to be held with all of your senses — especially your sixth one. It is in the pauses and voids that you find your missing self. Every reality that is spoken creates a reality that is unspoken. Multiverses exist within you. Don’t limit yourself to just this one way of seeing. Always stand on both sides of the doorway.
Psychedelic vision, October 15, 2022
Death is an open door frame in Space. I walk through it and nothing has changed — I’m just on the other side.
I look back at my life and wish I would have known this before.
I will not lose my self after death. You take the self with you and merge it with your other lives.
The only thing you do lose after life is the gift of your form — the ability to materialize yourself in linear time.
When you’re on the other side of the doorway, you’ll be able to be everything all at once, but you’ll miss the one reality. This is the true miracle.
You are only one thing right now, but you have infinity at your finger tips.
Stand on both sides of the doorway — and from that vantage point — create your life.
The Devil and I gaze at the damned stars
The Devil and I gaze at the damned stars, by Midjourney
38th Birthday Dream, June 8, 2022
I found myself in Hell being led by the Devil into a house that looked a lot like my house. I thought this can’t be my birthday dream! This is more like a nightmare. And then I saw the sky and all the stars in the sky looked like heavenly stars, and I said to the Devil, “I didn’t know you could see Heaven from Hell.” He said he had never noticed the stars before and he stood there, awestruck. I could feel him falling in love. I knew then this was not a nightmare — this was a gift. I never wanted the moment to end. The Devil and I in Hell, both of us in love, gazing up at the damned stars.
Explore your mental floorplan
Mental Floorplan, (Dream, February 25, 2022)
We all gathered in the living room, my dream selves and I. There were many of us. We began to crowd each other.
I knew there were many rooms in my house. I could see the layout of my mind.
Sometimes we gravitate toward the same room over and over again. We think that's all we know. We forget there are mansions in our minds.
Look at your mental floorplan. See all your rooms. Keep exploring.
Choosing your form and Whale wisdom
From my dream book, A New Temple
In the last two psychedelic journeys (October 29, 2021 and January 8, 2022), the cosmic whales popped in. I resurfaced from the October journey with the ability to breathe deeper than I had before. They said this was important. The breath is a tool for rebirth.
Last month, I found myself with them again. The whales said, Look at your form. You choose the form you hold here on Earth.
Psychedelic journeys — like dreams and waking visions — are a gift. How you honor them is by action. I googled “whale breathing” and “whale messages.” I discovered a whole subculture of (mostly) women who swim with whales. Some of them have direct channels of communication with whales and can receive transmissions of wisdom.
I followed the path presented to me and I signed up for WhaleBreathing zoom sessions and began reading the book: Whale Wisdom Dolphin Joy: Ascension Teachings from the Cetaceans by June Sananjaleen Hughes.
The WhaleBreathing classes left me in an altered state. Euphoric. Like mini-journeys. I breathe deeper now. My breath is an anchor in the sea of my subconscious. It is a gift and a tool.
Regarding “the form we hold here on Earth” — I found clarity in the book:
…the Whales you see, are ever at this point of integration between the dimensions. Their physical body resides in the world of form, but their consciousness remains aware of their spiritual existence, their spirituality … They hold the balance between the dimensions, a statement you find hard to follow ~ but without the Whales the seas would be in chaos. And the seas represent the subconscious, that hidden and little understood part of your mind that dwells within your rhythm of awareness. … The Whales are at peace. Oblivious to outside interference, they live their dream in the ocean depths. They experience the turmoil, the turbulence, the inharmonious frequencies of the outer world, oh yes. But they allow it not to penetrate their inner being, their inner calm, the heart of their awareness. Their centeredness, or point of focus. Were they to allow the discord of an outer or alien world to penetrate their own, they would disintegrate, their form dispelled, annihilated by thought patterns of aggressiveness. The waves of calamitous sound would shatter their form. For their form is held in shape by a frequency that borders on Divine. Angelic perhaps would be more to your understanding. At any rate, there is a very fine frequency that holds their shape in form. And they have learned to hold fast to their ideal or focus that All is One, that they are not separate from the whole, from the Godhead, from the Source. And we encourage you and your cohorts to emulate the Whales, to practice steadfastness in holding true to a thought or pattern that is Divine in origin. Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and all else shall follow. And it is for you to determine what is meant by kingdom of heaven. A State of Grace maybe. An elevated concept of consciousness, in which you may hold or carry your tune of intent with dedication and commitment to purpose. And here we are assuming that your purpose is the divine blueprint that you drew for yourselves, before you entered embodiment. Be like the Whales and allow nothing external to detract from this purpose. Insulate yourself. Pad your aura with an extra wad of good humor, of joie de vivre, of tolerance and respect. Glue it all together with the love of understanding, and wear this armor amour on all occasions….
I see whales now as satellites — spaceships in the sea. Divine consciousness. Something to emulate.
Astrological Consequences Or How To Embody Freedom
My birth chart.
I received a reading from my favorite cosmic outlaw / astrologer Antero Alli — side note: there really should exist more cosmic outlaws in my life — and his advice helped me evolve the concept of Freedom in my life. He said:
Freedom is the ability to make any decision, or take any action, as long as you are willing to “buy” the consequences.
So I try to have a constant awareness of consequences and a persistent self-question of “Can I buy the consequences?” All of my actions and decisions come from a deep yes inside of me and because of that I feel the embodiment of freedom every day.
Note: This post is an excerpt from my weekly mind dump newsletter, sent out each Friday.
Dream fragments
I find lost parts of my self in dreams that I can bring back to waking life as gifts. This is a version of me that is confident and whole and walks the world with her front-facing soul.
How to challenge your fear
“You must challenge fear and ask it what it means to say. As you go into the fear with eyes open, heart open and courage flowing freely, you will see that fear is only an empty room. Fear is only as strong as your avoidance of it. The greater your reluctance to see the fear, to accept it and embrace it, the more power you allow it.”
— Emmanuel's Book: A Manual for Living Comfortably in the Cosmos
The Catfish Museum and All Points of Possibility
Catfish: Points of Possibilities created by AI Art Machine
I am given a tour of an underground water museum. The tour guide takes me to the catfish exhibit. I see a catfish swimming toward me and I see it’s skeleton and how it forms and grows.
I can see sound waves and the potential of energy before it is “activated” in the water. The potentials appear as dots or points. I see the catfish navigate all the possibilities at once.
A propeller appears in the exhibit and it is churning my subconscious, like the deep waters.
At the end of the tour the guide gives me a jack-in-box toy made out of paper, but instead of a jester it is a catfish that pops out. I ask a lot of questions and the guide pawns me off to the exhibit programmer who is disinterested in telling me more. He mumbles something and turns his back toward his computer.
I take my folder of informational pamphlets and my paper catfish-in-the-box and I say I am ready to leave. This dream is an invitation to see the potentials of my life and desires.
Unraveling the Scarcity Mindset & The Soul of Money
Unraveling the “scarcity mindset” installed in me as a child was something I decided to tackle a couple months ago when I was mistakenly billed for a medical procedure. For a moment I thought I had to pay a thousand dollars, and even though I have the money, and more importantly, the ability to earn that money, I had a small anxiety attack that teleported me back to life before my 30s, when I had no money. I knew that if I didn’t deal with my “insufficiency” wiring that no matter how secure or stable I am in life I would never be as free and happy as I deserve to be. As we all deserve to be.
Below is a short poem I wrote — a glimpse into my childhood. After that are excerpts from a book that helped me complete this “soul work” of unraveling the scarcity mindset. Before this book has been a lot of other work: talk therapy, journaling, cutting cords, prayer and stillness. I learned to create a world of abundance and sufficiency. I am more mindful of the flow of money. I am grateful every day for food, a home and a warm bed. If you ever need someone to talk about this, you can email me at claudia@claudiadawson.blog.
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings having a human experience.”
At one point, a womb was enough. Then came birth and all my parents’ fears and failings and flails became mine. I was drowning too. Underneath poorness and not enough. Money came and went like a river in drought. Roofs came and went. Shelter lines came and went. A free loaf of bread and a peanut butter jar could last us all week. Saltines for dinner sometimes. A cup of noodles in tap water warming on a window sill. This had to be enough sometimes. At one point, a womb was enough. Another new school, another first day, I’m 10 and wearing an XL men’s t-shirt down to my knees. I try to make friends, try to be bigger than my circumstances. I carve out a safe space inside of me, follow my intuition. Keep my head above water. At one point, a womb was enough. Then I’m born and scarcity began to build a grave for me.
“Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery it is. In the boredom and pain of it, no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it, because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.”
Once we define our world as deficient, the total of our life energy, everything we think, everything we say, and everything we do—particularly with money—becomes an expression of an effort to overcome this sense of lack and the fear of losing to others or being left out.
The toxic myth is that “more is better”. More of anything is better than what we have. It’s the logical response if you fear there’s not enough, but more is better drives a competitive culture of accumulation, acquisition, and greed that only heightens fears and quickens the pace of the race.
More is better misguides us in a deeper way. It leads us to define ourselves by financial success and external achievements. We judge others based on what they have and how much they have, and miss the immeasurable inner gifts they bring to life. All the great spiritual teachings tell us to look inside to find the wholeness we crave, but the scarcity chase allows no time or psychic space for that kind of introspection.
When we believe that more is better, and equate having more with being more—more smart or more able—then people on the short end of that resource stick are assumed to be less smart, less able, even less valuable, as human beings. We feel we have permission to discount them.
This mind-set of scarcity is not something we intentionally created or have any conscious intention to bring into our life. It was here before us and it will likely persist beyond us, perpetuated in the myths and language of our money culture. We do, however, have a choice about whether or not to buy into it and whether or not to let it rule our lives.
By sufficiency, I don’t mean a quantity of anything. Sufficiency isn’t two steps up from poverty or one step short of abundance. It isn’t a measure of barely enough or more than enough. Sufficiency isn’t an amount at all. It is an experience, a context we generate, a declaration, a knowing that there is enough, and that we are enough.
Sufficiency resides inside of each of us, and we can call it forward. It is a consciousness, an attention, an intentional choosing of the way we think about our circumstances. Sufficiency is a context we bring forth from within that reminds us that if we look around us and within ourselves, we will find what we need. There is always enough.
So often we think of “abundance” as the point at which we’ll know we’ve really arrived, but abundance continues to be elusive if we think we’ll find it in some excessive amount of something. True abundance does exist; it flows from sufficiency, in an experience of the beauty and wholeness of what is. Abundance is a fact of nature. It is a fundamental law of nature, that there is enough and it is finite. Its finiteness is no threat; it creates a more accurate relationship that commands respect, reverence, and managing those resources with the knowledge that they are precious and in ways that do the most good for the most people.
Money is a current, a carrier, a conduit for our intentions. Money carries the imprimatur of our soul.
If your attention is on the problems and breakdowns with money, or scarcity thinking that says there isn’t enough, more is better or that’s just the way it is, then that is where your consciousness resides. Those thoughts and fears grow from the attention you give them and can take over your life. No matter how much money you have, it won’t be enough. No amount of money will buy you genuine peace of mind. You expand the presence and the power of scarcity and tighten its grip on your world.
When we let go of trying to get more of what we don’t really need, we free up an enormous amount of energy that has been tied up in the chase. We can refocus and reallocate that energy and attention toward appreciating what we already have, what’s already there, and making a difference with that. Not just noticing it, but making a difference with what we already have. When you make a difference with what you have, it expands.
We think we live in the world. We think we live in a set of circumstances, but we don’t. We live in our conversation about the world and our conversation about the circumstances. When we’re in a conversation about fear and terror, about revenge and anger and retribution, jealousy and envy and comparison, then that is the world we inhabit. If we’re in a conversation about possibility, a conversation about gratitude and appreciation for the things in front of us, then that’s the world we inhabit.
Scarcity speaks in terms of never enough, emptiness, fear, mistrust, envy, greed, hoarding, competition, fragmentation, separateness, judgment, striving, entitlement, control, busy, survival, outer riches. In the conversation for scarcity we judge, compare, and criticize; we label winners and losers. We celebrate increasing quantity and excess. We center ourselves in yearning, expectation, and dissatisfaction. We define ourselves as better-than or worse-than. We let money define us, rather than defining ourselves in a deeper way and expressing that quality through our money.
Sufficiency speaks in terms of gratitude, fulfillment, love, trust, respect, contributing, faith, compassion, integration, wholeness, commitment, acceptance, partnership, responsibility, resilience, and inner riches. In the conversation for sufficiency we acknowledge what is, appreciate its value, and envision how to make a difference with it. We recognize, affirm, and embrace. We celebrate quality over quantity. We center ourselves in integrity, possibility, and resourcefulness. We define our money with our energy and intention.
If you look back on the experience of freedom in your life chances are that it wasn’t when you were measuring the options against one another, or making sure you weren’t getting stuck with a decision. It was when you were fully expressed, playing full out. It was when you chose fully and completely, when you knew you were in the place you were meant to be in, when perhaps you even felt a sense of destiny. That’s when we’re free and self-expressed, and joyful or at peace with circumstances—when we choose them. We bring that freedom to our relationship with money when we center ourselves in sufficiency, choose to appreciate the resources that are there, feel their flow through our life, and use them to make a difference.
Additional Reading:
How to feel like you have enough by Christine Garvey
Spaceship Earth & Synchronicities
A collection of Earth from Space media that has been floating through the internet and my subconscious. Use them as tools to shift your perspective and expand your consciousness.
The Overview Effect
“The overview effect is a cognitive shift in awareness reported by some astronauts during spaceflight, often while viewing the Earth from outer space. It is the experience of seeing firsthand the reality of the Earth in space, which is immediately understood to be a tiny, fragile ball of life, "hanging in the void", shielded and nourished by a paper-thin atmosphere. From space, national boundaries vanish, the conflicts that divide people become less important, and the need to create a planetary society with the united will to protect this "pale blue dot" becomes both obvious and imperative.”
Spaceship Earth
Spaceship Earth is a worldview encouraging everyone on Earth to act as a harmonious crew working toward the greater good.
"As we begin to comprehend that the earth itself is a kind of manned spaceship hurtling through the infinity of space—it will seem increasingly absurd that we have not better organized the life of the human family."
— Hubert H. Humphrey, Vice President of the United States
We travel together, passengers on a little space ship, dependent on its vulnerable reserves of air and soil; all committed for our safety to its security and peace; preserved from annihilation only by the care, the work, and, I will say, the love we give our fragile craft. We cannot maintain it half fortunate, half miserable, half confident, half despairing, half slave—to the ancient enemies of man—half free in a liberation of resources undreamed of until this day. No craft, no crew can travel safely with such vast contradictions. On their resolution depends the survival of us all.
— Adlai Stevenson to the UN, 1965
Astronaut Bruce McCandless free floating above earth
The Earth Rising Over the Moon
Earth Restored — Toby Ord
If somebody’d said before the flight, “Are you going to get carried away looking at the earth from the moon?” I would have say, “No, no way.” But yet when I first looked back at the earth, standing on the moon, I cried.
— Alan Shepard, Apollo 14
Channeled Message, Goddess Light
Look at the earth. This time, truly look at the higher frequency and vibration. As you do so if you have had any concerns about what is happening you see how much light and energy is present. So too look around the all that is look around at the many ships at the many, many benevolent ones that come both from other planets and the universe all are here working with you. And the planet of earth is becoming brighter and brighter illuminating all that is within and around.
When you look through expanded consciousness it helps you to clear the lower frequency.
You can see it or sense it or feel it. If there is something that comes across your awareness in your daily life and it begins to pull you down again remember this; there is so much light frequency available to the planet, available to all.
You may also have that perception of how easily the energy flows between the earth and these higher frequencies. The all that is has multiple dimensions within it and you have the ability to flow, moving through those many, many dimensions. It is your way of experiencing the ascension process.
Resources:
Sensory Bathing and Sensory Deprivation
I tried to meditate but it turned into worship. I say “but” when I should say “and.” I am shifting all of my buts and no’s into yes, and(s), because this is where the magic happens.
“I tried to meditate and it turned into worship.”
I realize now that meditation will become whatever it needs to be: breathing, listening, dancing, prayer, channeling — what ever it needs to be.
Right now, I am balancing practices of going inward for guidance and then immersing myself in the environment around me. Here is a practice of sensory immersion I pulled from Angel Tech: A Modern Shamans Guide to Reality Selection:
Close your eyes. Listen, moment-to-moment, to the sounds of your immediate environment. Listen to how your mind may make sense of the sounds: naming, categorizing and figuring them out. Now, give yourself permission to simply listen to the sounds as different energies. You can do this by not associating meaning to any of these sounds and just let the sounds come sweeping through you as currents of sonic energy. Let these sonic forces have their way and go where they may within, around, under and over you. If they like, let them merge forces with other sounds to produce new levels and overtones of sonic resonance. Your sensory task is this: How much can you give yourself over to this experience and let it envelop and encompass you…until you are at one with the sounds?
Grounding yourself with Sensory Bathing
I sit outside in a sunny spot and close my eyes. I listen to each sound and name it. I hear the wind rustling through trees. I hear various birds chirping — different tones. I hear wind chimes, some high, some low. A car’s motor. Loud, nondescript words. A plane flying overhead. Machinery turned on. My dog panting, then lapping water. A horn honking.
Life expanding and contracting.
My perceptive world is all at once multi-dimensional, and I am a part of it. Small and important at the same time.
I am that child crying out. I am the car speeding toward something. I am the rooster crowing. The urgent horn honking. The wind blowing — just passing through.
Going inward with Sensory Deprivation
I don’t deprive myself of all sounds. I use noise-cancelling earbuds to listen to Solfeggio frequencies and soundscapes that connect me with source energy. I put on my eye mask and I go inward. With every breath in I take in energy from the universe and then I breathe out longer than I take in. Every exhale feels like a gift from within. This is how I connect with the consciousness beyond my identity, my physical body and this reality.
Not here. Not the sounds on Earth. No light from this planet leaks through my eye mask.
I go inward — but outside of space and time. It’s dark, and sometimes there are visions, or hallucinations, or imagination — whatever you want to call it.
The things that I see are for me to interpret. And words are spoken — sometimes they make no sound, sometimes I repeat them aloud — messages about me or loved ones or whoever pops into my circle from time to time. In these short moments, I become privy to some arcane knowledge about how the universe works.
I understand how going inward can become addictive. The chasing of enlightenment.
Which is why sensory bathing is needed for grounding yourself. Use whatever methods you need for balance.
Be the ideal place
“I’ve been searching for years for the ideal place. And I’ve come to the realization that the only way to find it is to be it.” — Alan Watts
Advice about difficult friendships
It shouldn't be hard to be friends with someone. The sooner you realize this the sooner you'll start making real friends.
Making emotionally intelligent decisions
You should never make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion.
— 33 Quotes That Will Inspire You to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence