Visions of the Holographic Universe, Magnetars and Flowering in Spirit
“He was remembering with his mind and she was remembering with her senses.”
As I woke up this morning, I saw my body stretch out toward the sun and my arms stretch above my head as if I was flowering 🪷. I felt like I had physically flowered, but in reality my body didn’t move an inch. Then I opened my eyes having already stretched out my spirit.
🌌 Inner imagery:
Visions of the Holographic Universe. In dreams, I see glimpses of layered horizons. Time as a linear line and and Time as angles entering from parallel dimensions. Stellar rays project into the Earth sphere creating distortions, reflections and reality screens. Somewhere in all the energy noise I find myself as beams of light converging. I see how our physicality and our form is created from beyond the horizons.
Working map of my astral travels and visions of the holographic universe. Need to add more dimensions of consciousness and realms I’ve visited to date.
🤫 Secret desires:
To become a Magnetar after death and be described as a “highly magnetic stellar corpse” Why? Because I’m made of stardust and consciousness is magnetic and all I want to do is be bright and pull the universe toward me.
Emotions as the doorway to higher frequencies
Abraham-Hicks Emotional Guidance Scale
Emotions as both a ladder and a doorway to higher frequencies. You can’t jump from Anger to Joy, you must climb the rungs one by one. Likewise, you can’t bypass the dense, bad emotions. You have to walk through the front door of an emotion and trust you’ll find another door out. Every emotion can transform you for the better. RELATED
A vision of cosmic grief
Psychedelic vision, Friday, December 16, 2022
There is an invisible conveyer belt that extends from Earth to Heaven.
I sat underneath and watched the bodies drop as the souls ejected themselves.
A landfill of spiritual refuse.
I sifted through the matter left behind. I mourned the un-lived potentials within.
Lives that never fully expanded out of fear.
The life-body is a house meant for remodeling and adding on and enlarging in every way.
This is cosmic grief I am feeling.
Some of these life-bodies will be recycled. Return to grow again. Others forgotten.
I think of my own body hanging from that conveyer belt — of all the rooms I have yet to discover within me.
Related: Explore your mental floorplan
The Sacred Dancer Archetype
The Sacred Dancer Archetype
I travel between the worlds like a journalist. I ask questions. Demand answers.
I ask “Who am I?”
Am I the voice that is asking questions?
No. I am the one that is remembering.
They say, You are the Sacred Dancer integrating all the frequencies.
The Sacred Dancer does not need to understand.
She is movement and grace and spinning through realities.
She trusts the rhythm and flow and never asks why.
Related: Dream from Monday, November 14, 2022
Gossip Angels
We sat huddled on the floor
gossiping like school girls —
in the purest way
and I can’t tell you
what was said
because it’s a secret
but it was about you
and your fears
and how it’s all going to be
OK.
The 2,000-year-old Claudia Tree
In a dream, they say “You are not the first iteration of Claudia.
You are merely a branch of a 2,000-year-old Claudia Tree.
Feel the ancient wisdom within you.”
I am my mothers tears remembering me.
An alchemical dream about Coagulatio
Dream, Wednesday, December 7, 2022
I am on a pilgrimage, wading through shallow waters, trying to find something I lost.
A half-buried plane from long ago.
Something that came down from the spirit and wanted to be concretized. A thought, an idea, an inspiration.
I know it’s from my childhood. I know it is a piece of my soul. I stare at the marvel of it all.
Spirit to matter. Crashed and buried. Things lost can always be found.
Related: An alchemical dream about Calcinatio
The Dreaming
I was in Egypt for two weeks in November, anchoring myself in temples and tombs along the Nile River. My dreams in Egypt were potent and bold and alien, but I have yet to translate them into a language or imagery I can share.
Dreams tend to screen themselves as something mundane to avoid breaking our brains. My husband says he only dreams of boring things like emptying dishwashers and riding passenger side in cars — but those dreams are also potent, and they have messages too.
I had several dreams of Susan Sarandon gifting me things and taking me under her wing before I realized who she symbolized. She was my Goddess archetype and once the goddess broke through me (read about it here), I stopped dreaming of Susan Sarandon and I started dreaming of the Goddess herself. Sometimes the goddess appears as Isis, or she is a beautiful warrior woman with wings or sometimes she is me. A screen is no longer needed in that case.
In Egypt there were no screens over my dreams. The veil was lifted and I was shot out to other planets, rapid-fire slipping into other consciousnesses — most of them not even human.
I remind myself that these visions are not fixed realities inviting me to come and live within them. They are tools to help dismantle the mental frameworks that were never mine to begin with. The ways of thinking that were handed down to me externally.
When you decide to spiral inward instead of out toward the world, you'll quickly discover there is a deep, deep abyss within you — and it is roaring.
In dreams I fly, I stretch across time, I create new realities, I shape-shift, I teleport, I talk to angels, animals, aliens and ghosts.
Dreams act as floodgates for the imaginal and the imagination. They create new ways of seeing that will defy everything you knew before.
With that said, in waking life I will never levitate. I will never manifest billions of dollars. I will never wake up one morning in a different timeline or reality.
I have limitations because I am anchored here on Earth, and before I was born I made a promise to play this thing out as human and to play by the rules or laws of nature.
And all of that is OK with me, because I have my dreams. And when I leave my body at night and I travel through the worlds, it's not an act of escapism. It is a radical act of humanism.
I only have this short blip of life and I hope I'm doing it right, and some people stay in school forever or go to church for guidance or fill their brains with books, but I just go to The Dreaming.
Every night is like reaching into a grab bag of universal consciousness and pulling out other-worldly views of time and space and love and humanness.
Here is an unedited stream of consciousness after one of those dreams in Egypt:
Monday, November 14, 2022, 11:49pm. Dream notes. They are showing me my home planet. I can’t confirm if it is Mars, but Mars-like, red rocks. Someday they’ll find the tombs there. Maybe my body is there or maybe I only had a light body, not a physical body. The creature life there glowed in the dark or was bioluminescent in psychedelic colors. Maybe I was a creature or maybe I was ALL the creatures. One entity … the entire planet breathing in my bioluminescent veins. I danced like an aboriginal with neon colored ink on my body. And when I danced new realities materialized before me. Dreams were my bloodline, like now. This is just one lifespan. Non-human. Not of this Earth. I have transcended before on another planet. This is why I feel like a gypsy, why I have no roots, why stability can sometimes feel like a prison. All these facets of life we chose for ourselves are man-made obstacle courses for us to “remember” and grow past our temporary circumstances. I have to extend my soul spirit out past this planet, make it reach back in to the future where the past begins and connect all my lives on the wheel of time. All that wisdom from other lives, other planets. The fruits of my experience. The wheel must become that. When I say I have to “get off the wheel,” I mean I need to be in the hub driving it, fully remembering all my alien lives. All the aspects can come home now.
Washing instructions for auric bodies
When your body feels heavy with emotion, remember you can take it off like clothing.
In a vision I see everything as pale denim blue, like all the colors have run by mistake.
I take off my emotional body and I see pockets of fluid that need to be drained. These are my tears and sadness. I hang it up on the line to dry.
I take off my mental body and I see how it is wrinkled and stained. These are my assumptions that need to be washed and ironed out.
Our auric bodies are removable and washable.
You are a spirit with multiple bodies. Each one serves a purpose, and each one should be treated differently — but they all need to be cleansed again and again.
On laundry days, I walk around naked in spirit — a respite from the human form.
Night terror hate mind-dump
I woke up at 11:54pm on Saturday, October 29 with the message that I should be doing a nightly “Night terror hate mind-dump.”
Usually my astral homework is not as aggressive-sounding, but the purpose of these divine “assignments” seems to be to help unblock stuck energy and emotions.
So last night before bed, I did it. I created a note on my phone and I listed all my nightmare-inducing stressors. After I wrote them out I stared at my list and read them over and over until they seemed ridiculous and irrational.
Then, I let out a deep breath and let myself fall asleep peacefully, without the weight of these invisible terrors.
FYI, “Chona” is my dad’s 4-year-old English bulldog who is perfectly healthy, but who I often worry about for no good reason. Here is a picture of her insisting she is a lap dog, taken on my 38th birthday:
The dying pig mother and her suckling piglets
The image above was created using text prompts on Midjourney. I didn’t want to create anything as photorealistic as my dream, but I will describe it in detail below.
Nightmare, August 29, 2022
I rarely have nightmares. Not all dreams evoke positive feelings, most are perplexing and paradoxical, but never this gruesome.
I come across a mutilated, dying pig mother. She is bloody and there is a litter of piglets suckling her. She is deflating and losing all of her life force. I want to help, but I don’t know what to do.
If her piglets continue to feed off of her she will flatten and die. She needs time to rest and recuperate, but the piglets are too young to wean off. They won’t survive without her warmth and milk.
There is no happy ending for this event, which makes this a nightmare.
The gift of this gruesome imagery arrived when I realized I am both the pig mother and the piglets. I can be draining and co-dependent and I can also give and give and give of myself until there is nothing left.
Love needs boundaries. When I feel imbalanced or unhappy in love, I ask myself who am I right now? Am I the dying pig mother or am I the draining piglets?
The waterless seal
Dream, October 24, 2022
I found myself regressed in an apartment belonging to my mother and ex-stepdad. The water bill was past due and I was told I could not bathe myself in their home. As I was packing my stuff to leave in search of a shower, I discovered a very dry mama seal floundering in the bathtub. I said, “I don’t care how much it costs, this beautiful creature needs a lot of water,” and I turned on the shower full blast.
The seal is a creature that can exist both in water and land — symbolizing perfect harmony between our inner world and the external world. As a totem a seal represents our creative and imaginative faculties. This dream felt impoverished and imbalanced but I could not let my seal spirit friend sit in an empty bathtub.
Spare no expense for your soul or your imagination or your dreams.
See souls as orbs of light
Visual meditation inspired by the Emerald Tablets of Thoth
Strip away reality. Imagine yourself in a black void and every being you meet is a glowing orb of light. Some are dim and smaller. Some are large and bright. “These are the lights that are souls among men, growing and fading, existing forever, changing yet living, through death into life.” When you see people this way, you see us all the same. You see how we light the way for one another — banish the darkness that envelops us all. I see your spark of light in the void and I beam my radiance back at you — a cosmic wink — until we meet again.
Death is a floating door in space
It’s not life vs death. It’s life and death. Creation and destruction. Light and darkness. The duality of existence has to be held with all of your senses — especially your sixth one. It is in the pauses and voids that you find your missing self. Every reality that is spoken creates a reality that is unspoken. Multiverses exist within you. Don’t limit yourself to just this one way of seeing. Always stand on both sides of the doorway.
Psychedelic vision, October 15, 2022
Death is an open door frame in Space. I walk through it and nothing has changed — I’m just on the other side.
I look back at my life and wish I would have known this before.
I will not lose my self after death. You take the self with you and merge it with your other lives.
The only thing you do lose after life is the gift of your form — the ability to materialize yourself in linear time.
When you’re on the other side of the doorway, you’ll be able to be everything all at once, but you’ll miss the one reality. This is the true miracle.
You are only one thing right now, but you have infinity at your finger tips.
Stand on both sides of the doorway — and from that vantage point — create your life.
A lesson in time — the eternal youth and the wise crone
Sometimes the goal is to drop the “I” from all your sentences. To identify less and less with your self or your sex or your station in life. And sometimes there is a need to do the polar opposite of that — to hold on to our form in a closed fist, to re-tell our personal myth over and over again, drop roots into the earth so our spirits don’t float away. I try to let go and hold at the same time. I am a woman with aspects of all different ages and genders within me. In my visions, I ring the church bell of my cathedral and I call them all home.
Night dream, October 22, 2022
The small boy within me dives into a cenote, but is unable to climb back out. He waits patiently for me to save him.
I’m scared, I say, I don’t know how to swim. But I jump in anyway.
This is the entrance to my underworld.
There is no way out, except for a spiraling tower that belongs to the wise crone within me. It’s locked. She has the passcode, but she can’t remember it in her old age.
The small boy and I know we will eventually become this older woman as time passes, bringing along the memory of the code.
All we can do is patiently wait.
How to clarify your intentions
A public service announcement from my higher self.
Hold each intention up to the sun – see what drives you.
Message from a dream, September 20, 2022
Your intentions propel you through life.
If they are cloudy or driven by ego or fear then where you end up could be somewhere you don’t want to be.
If you want to see your future hold your intentions up to the Sun, one by one.
See what is really driving you.
Anything short of divine will is only cheating yourself.
Cosmic bathtub personality mix
Vision from a psychedelic journey, April 1, 2022
I had a vision of bathtubs floating in space. It was before birth. Before I took this form. My soul tribe and I were disembodied spirits bathing in a row of cosmic bathtubs, waiting to be born. This is where we concocted our personalities — which is different from our consciousness or soul. We each sat in our own bathtub like cauldrons – adjusting the temperature and flow of the starry water — adding a little bit of this and a little bit of that — until we were just perfect for the life that we chose. We know we are not our personalities, we are the bathers in the cosmic bathtubs. Our personality is just a layer — a residue that we bathed ourselves in. It can always be washed off.
Cute vegetable-animal-human creatures grown from spore prints of consciousness
Lately I’ve been dreaming about new energies and creatures that want to be pulled into this world. In my dreams I usher them through portals, create havens, give them voice. Last night I met the cutest creatures made from consciousness spore prints, called soul prints. Here is a distant relative from a hybrid kingdom who wanted to meet you.
An alchemical dream about Calcinatio
Calcinatio is the first process in Alchemy. It is the burning of prime matter into ash. This is from where the mythical phoenix rises. This is how you turn lead into gold. This is how you become something new.
Baptism in fire, by Midjourney
Dream, Saturday, April 9, 2022
It was supposed to be a baptism, only my head was set on fire. This is how you purify yourself, they said. Burn all your scripts and schemas, and then start all over again. How many times can I transform before I die? I wonder. My head a funeral pyre. My potential reborn.
The Devil and I gaze at the damned stars
The Devil and I gaze at the damned stars, by Midjourney
38th Birthday Dream, June 8, 2022
I found myself in Hell being led by the Devil into a house that looked a lot like my house. I thought this can’t be my birthday dream! This is more like a nightmare. And then I saw the sky and all the stars in the sky looked like heavenly stars, and I said to the Devil, “I didn’t know you could see Heaven from Hell.” He said he had never noticed the stars before and he stood there, awestruck. I could feel him falling in love. I knew then this was not a nightmare — this was a gift. I never wanted the moment to end. The Devil and I in Hell, both of us in love, gazing up at the damned stars.