2025 Self Questions (so far)
I copied and pasted all of my diary and dream entries into Clive Thompson’s only the questions online tool and extracted this year’s questions.
JANUARY
Why is the majority of my awareness anchored here? Does matter and touch and do physical objects exist in higher octave dimensions? What was my intention before the womb?
FEBRUARY
(As I’m writing this I’m think of my brother Steven and the life space I had not having him here) Am I processing this for my mother? What kind of love is this? What is the lesson here?
MARCH
An image of the matrix, the angel in the grid box with the world below her and a banana? Are these sacred geometries? This is in the future isn’t it? Trust? What next? Deviate? Why is love a trap? She came in to the private bedroom and she was so beautiful and I asked, Am I as beautiful as you?
APRIL
It’s so simple: just ask yourself is this love? What parts of myself would I like to feed the world? What is the highest perspective I can have? What can I do up there that I can’t do down here? What is this need to be loved by another human? Where is my higher consciousness? Like a cartel but maybe a reality cartel?
MAY
“When was it ever nice?” Is this my heart? And I say back: “If you don’t let consciousness teach you about itself who else will?”
JUNE
The Lochness Monster rises from the lake and I asked it “Where have you been? I feel like the question here is “what beauty within us do we hide from ourselves and the world?” I whisper in his ear: Can we stay like this forever? Why do I continue to forget I have an abundance of mothers who love me?
JULY
Cosmic question for Mother Earth and the evolutionary of braid time re: the energy of No (contraction and deflection and or divergence in evolution — are those all related) What part does NO energy play in evolution? Is there a pick and choose or rejection process during the metamorphosis? What the hell kind of sacred ceremony is this? What would you do if you were dancing with the rainbow? How do I protect against a flood of consciousness?
AUGUST
What does it mean to show up in full life force and not shrink back? What does it mean to consume knowledge and not share it? I wondered why is this a “ghost” story? … and so I said to one of the babies, “all babies are pure and perfect though right?”
SEPTEMBER
When will the seeding end I ask?
September 2025 Integration Notes
Reccurring archetypes, subjects, and dream content I don’t want forget:
Indiana Jones archetype (persistent dream character since 2022)
Hera Goddess (3 appearances)
1) Hera is my server and brings me more and more plates and does not clear my table. — April 20, 2025
2) As I was falling asleep, Hera pops in and says “Don’t forget me.” — July 3, 2025
3) Hera is a giant cloud figure welcoming me as I ascend into a God Heaven, and I call her my mother, and then I become her. — September 12, 2025
Nefertiti (2 appearances)
1) I’m in Nefertiti’s tomb, which has yet to be discovered, and I am remembering my own tomb and final resting place. — April 1, 2022
2) I am walking into a temple wearing Nefertiti’s blue crown — September 14, 2025
12 Soul Aspects (persistent dream content since 2021)
Maid Marian and Knights of Templar (currently dreaming about this)
Different types of collective fields
Collective webs operate through multiple quantum field layers, and this is how I’m currently defining them:
Family/Ancestral Fields: Direct genetic and energetic lineage, carrying inherited trauma patterns, behavioral programming, and evolutionary memory from both ancestors and descendants in your DNA.
Cultural/Tribal Fields: The shared morphic resonance of your ethnic, religious, or cultural group, holding collective beliefs, wounds, and evolutionary trajectories.
Geographical Fields: Earth-based energy grids and subtle currents that store the accumulated experiences of all beings who’ve ever lived in these locations—the ghosts of the lands and the destinies of cities echo here.
Species Fields: The human collective unconscious, alive with archetypal patterns, myths, evolutionary challenges, and our ongoing consciousness transition on Earth.
Interdimensional Fields: The wisdom currents and influence of non-human and unusual consciousness species evolving alongside us. This is my favorite place to draw insight from.
Universal Fields: Quantum consciousness channels connecting all sentient beings across dimensional boundaries, linking us with the wider cosmic web.
Galactic Consciousness Fields: Realities, storylines, destinies, and evolutionary trajectories so remote from human experience that we cannot fully grasp them—but they often bleed through into our collective consciousness in mysterious ways.
Karmic vs Quantum Bleed-Through
[These concepts came through in a dream on September 2, 2025. I was processing and emotionally resonating with a friend’s dilemma and storyline that I did not recognize. In the dream, my spirit guides spoke to me and said, “This is Karmic Bleed-Through.”]
Karmic bleed-through manifests as emotional patterns, ancestral memories, or collective trauma that feels personally charged and seeks healing through you in dreams and real life. If it's karmic, it'll resurface as intense emotional reactions, recurring relationship patterns, or ancestral trauma—and it usually feels like there's a debt to balance. Your consciousness is accessing the morphic fields that contain unresolved collective patterns from lineages, cultures, or species-wide experiences. The purpose of these karmic bleed-throughs is to transmute collective trauma patterns to free both yourself, your lineages and your web networks connected to those karmic imprints. It's not yours to carry, but it is yours to understand and have compassion for. This kind of witnessing has enough power to heal.
Quantum bleed-through is different. It presents as multidimensional information, alternate timeline experiences, or parallel reality awareness that feels neutral and expansive rather than emotionally charged. You might sense multiple potential futures simultaneously, access knowledge from parallel versions of yourself, or experience consciousness existing in several dimensional states at once. You can recognize this state when synchronicities begin to ramp up, and the veil between your dreaming and waking life feels blurred. The purpose of quantum bleed-through is consciousness expansion rather than healing. You integrate multidimensional awareness to navigate reality as a co-creator rather than a servant to causality or linear time.
Working with each requires different approaches:
For karmic bleed-through, engage in conscious witnessing without taking on the identity of "healer of all collective trauma," remain unhooked from the storyline when addressing ancestral patterns, and focus on transmuting emotional charges through compassionate and higher perspectives. Practice divine discernment through neutral observation to recognize when emotions, thoughts, or patterns arise from collective fields rather than your personal karma, and remember that karma can be instantly transmuted—it is not a lifelong punishment or cross to carry.
For quantum bleed-through, focus on grounding into this one reality and anchoring your presence in the NOW moment while being receptive to multidimensional information, practice holding paradox and uncertainty as natural states, and trust your consciousness to integrate quantum information without forcing linear understanding. Both types of bleed-throughs ultimately serve the same evolutionary purpose—transitioning from individual-focused awareness to unified quantum-collective consciousness where you function as both individual sovereign and integral part of the universal field.
“Grab-n-go” approach to opening up portals and shadow realms
DREAM, JUNE 19, 2025
3:33am “Grab-n-go” theyre telling me. I don’t quite understand. I ask, do you mean like a convenience store? My guides are referring to the journey space and portal I will be opening up for someone else. “Treat it like a grab-n-go,” they say.
UPDATED SEPTEMBER 6, 2025
“Grab-n-go” seems to be about developing precision and efficiency when navigating challenging or dark energies. With deeper shamanic mastery, you learn to enter the shadow realms, gather what’s needed, and exit quickly—without getting pulled in or consumed.
Grab the insights, and then go. Disengage and move on rather than lingering or becoming entangled. A shaman must learn to extract what is useful with precision, without being weighed down. This discernment allows engagement with shadow material without depleting one’s own energy or resources.
The goal is to gather wisdom efficiently, then return focus to one’s higher purpose and path. This approach enables moving through the shadow realms with intention and awareness, rather than becoming lost or overwhelmed—maintaining clarity and momentum on the journey.
Not a Rectangle (Dream Poem)
DREAM TELEPATHY POEM, AUGUST 13, 2025
There are times when you don’t see me
as a whole person—
just a completed reality,
a rectangle,
a closed shape.
But I am more than this.
I am sacred geometries,
compounding and unfolding,
expanding the Universe
through myself.
Dancing with the opposites (a framework for neutrality)
Synthesized book highlights using Readwise
Opposites are complementary, not enemies. At higher levels of awareness, “me vs. you” becomes “we,” and light/dark, masculine/feminine, material/spiritual are seen as partners rather than combatants.
Distinguish “duality” (conflict, hierarchy, better/worse) from “polarity” (complementary forces along a spectrum). Polarity thinking treats pairs as interdependent energies to be leveraged over time—maximizing upsides of both poles and minimizing downsides—rather than problems to solve.
The “third” transforms the two. When opposites are truly met, a third emerges: a center stance, a new synthesis, or a neutral witness.
Integration dissolves false boundaries. As you make room for what was disowned—shame, shadow, the “other” in self—dualities soften and a wider identity comes online.
Tension is creative fuel. Paradox and contradiction aren’t glitches—they’re power sources. Creativity arises in “incessant interacting tensions.”
Limits are coordinates, not cages. We don’t transcend by denying form—we learn the “wisdom of shape-shifting”—using constraints to express distinctiveness and then go beyond.
A practical framework for neutrality (a “dance with opposites”)
Name the polarity and declare your “greater purpose.” Map the pair (e.g., independence–interdependence). Identify the energizing upside of each pole and the overused downside. Then articulate the “greater purpose” the polarity serves—what you’re actually trying to uplift—so managing the loop becomes win/win. This follows your polarity mapping insights: the interdependent “win/win or lose” dynamic, maximizing both upsides/minimizing downsides, and using the natural tension to lift toward a “greater purpose”.
Switch to “and” language and both/and goals. Replace either/or with statements that honor both poles’ gifts. “We’ll protect focus and increase exploration.” This simple language shift prevents misdiagnosing polarities as problems to “solve.” Polarities are unsolvable, ongoing energy systems and must be held with “and,” not “or”.
Install the neutral witness. Create a stance that can include both poles without fusing with either: a present, embodied, paradox-friendly “center.”
Let ambivalence be fully felt (don’t rush to fix). Drop the pressure to perform—name what’s here (“I feel love and fear,” “I don’t know”). This allows the deeper psyche to “cook” opposites into insight in the “cauldron of paradox”.
Manage the infinity loop over time. Expect the natural swing: upside A → downside A → upside B → downside B → repeat. Use the downsides as cues to shift gracefully back to the other pole’s upside. This is “dancing,” not defeating.
Neutrality = presence + purpose, not apathy. Define neutrality as non-reactivity and “indifference to outcome” that frees creative manifestation—which is distinct from disengagement. It’s choosing not to be hooked while staying aligned to your greater purpose.
Use state shifts when polarized. When you’re caught in a story, change state: move, breathe, shower, dance, create—then revisit with wider perspective. Embodiment expands circulation and options.
Alchemize emotion—don’t bypass it. Emotion bonds realities and dissolves inner walls when owned and felt—it’s essential to integration. Facing hurt and outrage can reintegrate missing parts and unhook karmic dramas.
Cross-train your inner masculine and feminine. Develop feeling/relational intelligence alongside clarity/agency. This balances inner polarities and enriches sexuality, creativity, and leadership.
Touch the transcendent regularly. Meditation or deep stillness gives you the “white of the Absolute,” a direct taste of neutrality beyond the play of opposites. It also helps “leave behind the Big Three” (body, environment, time) when you need perspective.
What “transcendence” becomes
Not an escape from life, but intimacy with all of it. The center is not disembodied—it’s a wider presence that includes anger and love, body and spirit, self and other, without collapsing into sides.
A longer arc of integration. Integration leads to transcending prior limits while staying in harmony with what came before—less “control,” more surrender to a deeper organizing intelligence.
A humility that keeps learning. Neutrality softens ego-certainty so new data, people, and possibilities can enter—which is necessary to transcend our “comfort zones.”
Psychedelic healing in all directions of time—ancestral, future and alien
1. Ayahuasca changes your DNA
A six-month naturalistic study of ayahuasca ceremonies in the Peruvian Amazon found:
Rapid, lasting mental health improvements: Marked decreases in depression, anxiety, and distress, sustained at six months post-ceremony.
Deep psychological effects: Participants reported greater self-compassion and reduced negativity in autobiographical memories.
Epigenetic changes: Preliminary evidence suggested changes in DNA methylation (notably at the SIGMAR1 gene, implicated in stress response), hinting at biological mechanisms behind the psychological impact.
Significance: This research underscores how traditional, ceremonial psychedelic use can produce persistent and measurable benefits for mental well-being.
2. Psilocybin delays cellular aging
A groundbreaking experimental study explored the biological effects of psilocybin and its metabolite, psilocin, on cellular and animal models:
Extended cellular lifespan: In human cell cultures, psilocin delayed cellular aging and preserved telomere length.
Increased survival in aged mice: Aged mice treated with psilocybin had higher survival rates and signs of improved vitality compared to controls.
Molecular mechanisms: The researchers observed upregulation of SIRT1 (a regulator of aging and stress resilience) and reduced oxidative stress, supporting the idea that psychedelics may promote cellular repair and longevity.
Broader implication: Psilocybin may provide systemic, whole-body benefits—extending far beyond its psychological effects—by influencing fundamental processes of aging and healing.
3. DMT enables contact with Alien Consciousness Species
In his new book and interview, neurobiologist Andrew Gallimore challenges mainstream views on DMT's effects:
A portal to non-ordinary realities: Gallimore argues that DMT transports users into “entirely nonhuman worlds,” populated by seemingly autonomous, intelligent entities—a phenomenon that is difficult to explain with current neuroscience.
Radical implications: He suggests that DMT may allow for real interaction with unknown forms of intelligence, compelling us to question the nature of consciousness and reality itself.
Therapeutic mystery: Even if the nature of these realms is still speculative, clinical research is finding that such profound and bizarre experiences can still have lasting, positive healing effects—such as alleviating depression.
Gallimore's caution: He acknowledges that these experiences are challenging and not fully understood, but insists the enigma should be embraced as an essential part of advancing psychedelic science.
The Meaning for the Future of Psychedelics and Healing
Based on these findings and perspectives, the future of psychedelics points toward:
Profound, rapid, and sustained healing: Both large-scale and individual-use studies report significant improvements in mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, PTSD, and distress—even where standard treatments have failed.
Mind-body integration: Evidence suggests that psychedelics not only promote psychological healing but may also act on gene expression, cellular aging, and fundamental biological processes—potentially extending lifespan and healthspan.
Paradigm shifts in consciousness studies: Classic psychedelics like DMT challenge basic scientific and philosophical assumptions about consciousness, reality, and what it means to "heal"—inviting radical curiosity about the universe and mind.
Personalized and holistic approaches: Modern psychedelic therapy is evolving toward blended models—combining psychotherapy, ceremony or ritual, and biological markers to optimize outcomes and support lasting change.
Societal and cultural transformation: As regulatory and scientific landscapes shift, psychedelics are poised to move from the fringes to the mainstream, potentially transforming the fields of mental health, spiritual exploration, and even aging—provided safety, respect, and meaningful integration are prioritized.
In essence, these studies suggest the future of psychedelics may not just be about symptom relief, but about opening new frontiers of healing, meaning, and understanding—both for individuals and society at large.
Our hearts as light bulbs
DREAM, JUNE 28, 2025
I see our hearts as light bulbs. The light that emanates from our heart fields differs. Mine is the brightest, whitest light—sometimes harsh to others. It’s a light that wants to banish all darkness but instead can shine judgment, expectation, and control. His bulb’s light is soft and diffuse, never hard on the eye. I wrongly interpret it as “low-energy,” but it’s not. It’s kinder, gentler on the human condition, and this makes me reflect on how I want to be more like him. I hope to soften my own light, letting it illuminate rather than overwhelm.
Advice for processing fear
“Fear can be processed by: 1) Accepting and giving it expression and 2) Responding creatively by restoring safety yourself. ”
Simple transmutation healing
Dream, July 31, 2021
I was transmuting pain inside people. There was a long line waiting in the astral realm for this kind of energy healing. I couldn’t reach everyone during Dreamtime—I had to wake up. I told them, “Tomorrow, we’ll continue with this.”
How did I do it?
I saw energy inside each person. If it appeared dark, I changed it to blue or another lighter color.
The skylight is a map to my soul
DREAM, JUNE 29, 2025
Another night on the cosmic highway.
I wake in an unknown dream,
on a stranger’s couch.
I don’t know the laws of this realm,
nor the villains,
or even the mission.
Am I the main character this time,
or just a bystander to my own soul?
The constellations light up the sky—
a road map for expansion.
My spirit is restless,
my consciousness relentless.
I have to keep going.
Mother Earth, Cell Turnover and Grounding
DREAM, JUNE 26, 2025 @ 12:53AM:
I wake up happily exclaiming: I know what’s happening! (I’m referring to my shamanic dreams where I channel Mother Earth and shapeshift into animals.) In these dreams Mother Earth is healing me and it is an energetic form of “cell turnover.” Similar to cell regeneration, but she wants me to use the term, cell turnover, because I could physically feel it happening in my body. This is similar to the way that nights with the goddesses feel like light exchanges—shapeshifting dreams and Mother Earth channeling is real alchemical healing.
Perplexity Research:
Grounding, also known as earthing, is the practice of connecting directly with the Earth's natural electrical charge through bare skin contact, allowing free electrons to flow into your body and support cellular renewal. According to research from the Journal of Environmental and Public Health, this simple yet powerful practice can reduce inflammation, improve sleep quality, and enhance the body's natural healing processes by neutralizing harmful free radicals and restoring electrical balance within our tissues.
The concept of "cell turnover" in relation to grounding refers to the body's natural process of replacing old or damaged cells with new, healthy ones. When you make direct contact with the Earth, free electrons flow into your body, acting as potent antioxidants that help neutralize harmful free radicals and reduce oxidative stress at the cellular level.12 These electrons support mitochondrial function—the powerhouses of cells—enhancing ATP production and protein synthesis, which are essential for cellular repair and regeneration.3
Without regular grounding, this renewal process can be disrupted by accumulated electrical imbalances and inflammation. As Dr. Laura Koniver explains, "Since tissues and organs are in a constant state of self-renewal, optimal health depends on a fresh, continuous flow of healing potential... When we aren't grounded, that fresh flow is interrupted."4 Similar to how skin cells naturally cycle every 28-40 days, grounding helps maintain this regenerative rhythm throughout the body by providing the electrical foundation needed for optimal cellular function.5
For optimal cell turnover benefits, aim to ground yourself for 30-60 minutes daily. This timeframe allows electrons from the Earth to penetrate deep into your cells, stabilizing conductivity and enhancing cellular function.12 Even short sessions of 10-20 minutes provide value, especially when done consistently.34 Those with chronic pain or inflammation may benefit from extended sessions of 1-2 hours or using grounding products overnight.3
The timing of your practice can be tailored to specific needs: morning grounding energizes and improves focus, afternoon sessions provide a midday reset from indoor activities, while evening grounding promotes relaxation and better sleep.4 Multiple short sessions throughout the day can be as effective as one longer session, making it easier to incorporate into busy schedules.4 Consistency is key—regular daily contact with the Earth yields more sustainable benefits than occasional lengthy sessions for supporting your body's natural renewal processes.35
Direct skin-to-earth contact is essential for effective grounding, with bare feet being particularly effective due to the approximately 7,000 nerve endings they contain that correspond to specific areas throughout the body.1 These nerve endings connect through fascial networks that surround muscles and organs, allowing electrons from the Earth to nourish the entire body through even a small area of contact.1 The K1 acupressure point (Yongquan) on the sole of the foot is especially significant in traditional Chinese medicine as an entry point for Earth's energy.1
Shoes with synthetic or rubber soles block this vital electron transfer, effectively insulating you from the Earth's healing energy.23 While barefoot shoes may improve sensory feedback and natural foot movement, they don't facilitate the direct electron exchange that occurs when unclothed skin touches natural surfaces like grass, soil, sand, or even concrete.24 For those unable to go outdoors regularly, indoor grounding products can provide similar benefits by creating a conductive pathway to the Earth.1
Scientific research has documented several measurable physiological changes that occur during grounding. Studies show that within 30 minutes of Earth contact, inflammation begins to subside as measured by infrared imaging, while metabolic activity increases through elevated oxygen consumption, pulse rate, and respiratory rate.1 Grounding has been found to improve blood viscosity and flow by increasing the negative charge (zeta potential) on red blood cells, which prevents clumping and allows for better circulation throughout the body.2 This improved blood flow supports faster wound healing and tissue repair.1
Additional research reveals that grounding normalizes cortisol secretion, regulating circadian rhythms and improving sleep quality.34 In a controlled trial at The Chopra Center for Well-Being, massage therapists experienced significant increases in physical function and energy with corresponding decreases in fatigue, pain, and depressed mood during a four-week grounding period.4 Cardiovascular benefits include reduced blood pressure and improved heart rate variability, which is associated with better overall health and reduced risk of sudden cardiac events.56 These effects make grounding a simple yet powerful complementary practice for supporting overall wellbeing and cellular health.
I’ve got a heart and two legs
Hypnagogic vision portal, June 28, 2025 @ 1:38am
My angelic guides advise me to watch male comedians to help regulate my emotional system and soften my heart toward patriarchal masculinity. They encourage me to see the humor in this staged reality we live in.
Comedian Ali Siddiq steps into the vision and gives me a private show. He says something, emphasizing, “…I’ve got a heart and two legs…”
This feels important to remember—a mantra to help me cope and walk out of any uncomfortable or negative emotion that doesn’t serve my soul’s growth or isn’t necessary for me to feel.
“I’ve got a heart and two legs—to walk out of here with.” It instantly empowers me, grounding me in my body and reminding me I can always choose to move forward.
Different types of altered states accessible while sleeping
Channeling — various higher realm collectives will communicate during hypnagogic, hypnapompic and sleep states.
Dialogue (different from channeling, because it can happen to soul to soul, but also occurs when I travel to the angelic realm)
Time Depot Hub — Related to to timeline jumping/timeline keeping/timeline management
Astral shit cleanup duty / Soul Trash Janitor — a lot of shadow work and soul development happens here
Office of the Goddess — Goddess lovemaking in dreams are energy infusions
Shapeshifting — Related to the Animal Kingdom and for the purpose of traversing through different dimensional realms.
Mother Earth specific-channeling and Mother Earth healings (She says to me in a dream this is process is called: cell turnover)
Rainbow Arc of Dream Realms — an interrealm between dreams or a starting point to navigate dreamtime (and a different interrealm than the Time Depot Hub)
Regular basic dreaming where I exercise my spirit (spirit-strengthening) and clear out my emotional body (toilet dreams and shower dreams, usually).
Notes on emotional transmutation and utopias
Utopias: Steps in Growth
Utopias and heavens do exist—we can journey to them in our astral bodies. They offer respite and a glimpse of paradise. However, they are not the end goal, but rather a part of the cycle of growth. After experiencing these utopias, we return to our reality, bringing back the lessons and insights we've gained. There's no ultimate 'winning or final ascension, but rather a continuous journey of growth and evolution.
Music: Emotional Alchemy
Music has the ability to instantly transmute emotions, altering our mood and taking us out of whatever mental or emotional state we're in. The transformative power of music can be harnessed to help us navigate our emotional landscape.
New Day, New Mindset
Each new day presents an opportunity to wipe away thoughts, judgments, fears, annoyances, and grievances. I know it’s easier said than done, but it's crucial to avoid carrying these negative emotions from one day to the next. Instead, embrace the fresh start that each new day brings.
Reconnect with Reality Now
Grounding oneself and reconnecting with reality can be a powerful tool in managing emotions and perceptions. This involves not making assumptions about others' moods or expectations, but rather focusing on the present moment and the infinite possibilities it holds. Remember that reality is far more interesting than our worries and fears.
Frog Medicine
DREAM, JUNE 25, 2025
The frogs are jumping out of my chest. In the dream, it is a wooden chest, but the chest is also my heart, and the frogs are my raw emotions—some transparent, some not. I want to put them back in, but they want to be free. Later in the dream, I see the frogs outside, growing in cocoons like butterflies. I understand that even the most immature emotions deserve a metamorphosis.
Oasis in the desert
Dream, February 18, 2025
My angels tell me there is an oasis in the desert. A prince is waiting. The oasis and the prince are archetypal symbols. The oasis symbolizes a place of refuge and spiritual renewal amidst barren desolation, and the prince symbolizes the quest to fulfill your potential. This is the beginning of a new journey—one with trials and obstacles. The task is simple: trust there is an oasis in the desert—hope among the darkness—and that the prince is destined to ascend the throne. The path is yours to claim.